Did I jump to conclusions in this relationship?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2010
Did I jump to conclusions in this relationship?
7
Mon, 09-12-2011 - 11:02am

Hi

I could use some good advice.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

It's possible he could be seeing other women but it's also possible that there are other explanations.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009

First of all, 5-6 family functions in 6 months?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009

I see two problems.

1) you expect him to be at your beck and call 24/7 and after only six months with you, not only do you expect him to attend all of your family functions, you expect him to act like he's a member of your family as well.

2) He's not that interested in talking to you. Whether this is because he's dating other people, his natural desire for alone time, or because he's overwhelmed by your need to constantly communicate (could be a combination), that's the way it is.

But he already told you to take a hike, which is certainly for the best for both of you. You don't say one thing you actually LIKE about this guy. So why are you treating him like a husband? I hope you will focus on getting yourself out there again and making some changes to your perspective. Be careful of having expectations that no man can meet. Six months of dating, you should be focusing on getting to know one another, not placing demands on someone. You can't expect a man to have an instantaneous commitment to you wherein he will act like he's been your husband for 20 years. If you focus on getting to know him as an individual, and using the input he gives you as a valuable learning experience rather than an opportunity to control or demand, you will go a lot farther. OR, you will realize early on that a man is not the one for you and break it off before you have a repeat of this type of relationship.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
I disagree with everyone else, I guess.

At 6 months into a relationship, you do have a right to be suspicious if his actions warrant it. And they do, imo.

I hardly see you as treating him as a husband of 20 years, or of harassing him, or whatever.

He sounds like bad news to me. You should count your blessings and move on.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2010
Could be any number of reasons he acts this way and one possibility could be that he is having money issues and he is too embarrassed to say anything. Whatever the case, it also sounds like he is just not that into you. Cut your losses and move on to someone who is a better fit.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009

I don't think anyone says she shouldn't have been suspicious!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009

Yep this is it... Whether or not she's justified in being suspicious, this relationship was a bad match from the beginning and now it's over