disgusted with my actor husband's work

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2004
disgusted with my actor husband's work
5
Wed, 09-29-2004 - 1:05pm
Hello. i'm new here and also sad about something that i was hoping to share this with someone..

My husband's a part time actor(although he hopes he was doing it all the time) and he's just got a role in a play that's about something romantic. He's never done any kissing or love scenes in the past butin this play he has to kiss this woman cast every night and i just feel so weird and don't really want to see it. I don't think i'm jealous, i just find it sleazy and insulting for me to see it. I know i'm being unreasonable-it's just the work for him and he says he doesn't like it himself..and i married him knowing he wanted to do this. I wonder if other women here would feel the same way or is it wrong for me to be this way? Do i have to accept it and pretend i've got no feelings? I don't know acting i'm not even a big TV or movie fan so it's doubly hard for me to understand that business.

I'd love to hear what you think..Thank you..
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2004
Wed, 09-29-2004 - 2:48pm
I don't think it would be healthy for you to pretend you have no feelings about it. You have a right to those fellings.

You also need to be a bit more reasonable because you did marry him knowing his passion was acting. You vowed to take him with the good and the bad and to support each other.

I'm sure the lady feels the same way, its "acting" and its just another word for "pretending".

If you feel you don't want to watch it then don't, you don't have too.

Maybe it will help you if you go with him and meet this lady, knowing her may ease your tension.

Good Luck!! Keep us updated
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2004
Wed, 09-29-2004 - 2:55pm
I have a comparison to your story, and I hope you find it helpful --

I am dating a tattoo artist/piercer. We're not married, but pretty serious. He's tattooed and pierced me personally, but he also... does it to other people. He owns his own studio as well, so he does this very much daily. What I'm getting at is, is that you probably know the areas that he can pierce, which can end up being on the riske side . I have no problem with him doing this, because this is his profession. Personally, I LOVE the fact that when he comes home, after seeing all of these "hot" girls that are all over him and want him, he smiles and shakes his head and comes home to ME :) :) :) :) :) This is routine in a relationship, but it's also quite flattering, because I don't exploit myself nearly as much as the college chicks that check his studio out, usually I show up in khakis and a tank top, not a miniskirt and a push-up bra. I know he loves me for who I am and would prefer my body over any of these girls. So, I guess that my situation is just as "odd" as yours, and I know it feels weird and awkward, but it's normal. Feel GOOD you're the one that he comes home to, and rock his nights giving him perhaps a little bit *more* ;) than kissing. I can't assume, but I'm sure he loves you very much, so don't get too bent out of shape over it. That's my two cents! Hope it helps!

-rinny

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2004
Wed, 09-29-2004 - 4:23pm
Thank you for encouraging me. I needed to hear there's nothing wrong with me to feel uncomfortable to watch my husband kiss another woman..

I'm not pretending like i'm naive or anything but i couln't make out with some guy i don't even know in front of all the people like actors do..how gross! Isn't it normal to feel shy about it? I am sad about the fact that my husband doesn't have the same moral value as me.

Like you suggest i might try to go meet this female cast..or we might need some counseling.

Thank you for your reply


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2004
Wed, 09-29-2004 - 5:04pm
Let me confirm for you: there's nothing wrong with you being uncomfortable about it. I'm dealing with something similar, and I feel the same way. I, too, am sad the same 'value' isn't shared, but the bigger picture is important here. It's a job, nothing else.

Don't expect your feelings to go away altogether; acceptance and support is key to your husband's career potential, but they are still valid emotions to have.

Best wishes~



Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 09-29-2004 - 7:43pm

You