Do I give up on 5 Years?!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2004
Do I give up on 5 Years?!
11
Tue, 03-16-2004 - 2:05pm
I have been in a relationship with my fiancee for over 5 years now on and off. The deal is that when we first met I got pregnant and was in the position financially and emotionally (I thought at the time) to handle a child so I kept him (aginst BF's wishes). I was fully ready to deal with the situation on my own as I have everything else in my life and BF was not around during my entire pregnancy. Once my son was born BF decided that we could see if maybe we could work out. We didn't really know each other at all. I decided that this was fine but got stuck in the rut that I was trying to create a FAMILY regardless of the love factor. Eventually I grew to love BF but still to this day am not IN LOVE with BF. I think I have let this go on long enough and I can see that he is not my perfect mate and I am not his. He asked me to marry him but I can't see me with someone whom I really have nothing in common with except for a child. I guess my question is do I lead this relationship with the thought that people can work things out if they love each other or do I let US go to proceed in finding that SOMEONE that we feel "the spark" with? We both agree that we are not each other's type, but is love enough to see past the differences?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2003
Fri, 03-19-2004 - 6:28pm
You're welcome, but it's not romanticism. I based my opinion and advice on facts -- the facts of my own relationship. Obviously if your core values are different then that's yet another sign that this is not the guy for you.

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