Do I have another chance with ex bf?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2007
Do I have another chance with ex bf?
2
Wed, 12-12-2007 - 2:19am
ko


Edited 12/18/2007 1:14 am ET by girlinlove1972
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Wed, 12-12-2007 - 1:51pm

Welcome to the board girlinlove1972,


If you are seeking counseling for your issues to win him back, you are doing it for the wrong reasons.


However, this part of your post: "he tells me sometimes he wishes I would date others so that he would want me more( he's had a history of becoming obssessed with women who cheat on him)" made me think 'and she thinks she's got issues?'

Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 12-12-2007 - 4:09pm

It sounds to me as though he's the one who's been running away, and giving you all kinds of mixed messages. Being with someone like this can certainly make you (and anyone) feel insecure. A relationship like this naturally intensifies all kinds of anxieties.


His messages are full of doubt, conflict and don't sound like anything you can really count on. It seems that you would be making a mistake to put your life on hold and wait for him. Instead, I'd focus on my own life, build up my self esteem, find supportive friends and activities and not make my life depend on him. During this time it would be very valuable for you to figure out what it is that "you" want and need in a relationship, what kind of situation and person is most healthy for you. You may ultimately decide that you want someone different. Only time will tell. The important point is to focus on your own growth, take your hopes and attention off him, and see for yourself how things go - (and how he actually behaves. Words are one thing - actions another).


Best wishes,