Do I have a problem?
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| Tue, 02-03-2004 - 10:34am |
One case in particular that really bothered me was last Friday. We were at his apartment watching a movie and a female friend called him. She is the sister of my boyfriend's best friend. She was going over to another mutual friends house and wanted to know if he'd be going over. When he got off the phone, he said he really wanted to go see her because he hadn't seen her in a while. I was tired anyway so I told him if he wanted to go, then go, I'd just go to sleep. He went. And even though I told him I didn't mind, I did. I still do.
It's almost like I'm waiting for him to screw up somehow. Last night, after my kickboxing class I drove by his apartment and his truck was gone. So I decided to drive by his best friend's house and see if his truck was there. I figured if it wasn't there, he was out with some other girl. So I was going to call him if his truck wasn't there and ask him where he was and if he told me he was at his best friend's house, I could catch him in a lie. Am I totally mental or what???? His truck was at his best friend's house so I just went home without calling him.
I don't know what I'm doing. I feel like breaking up with him because I have issues that I need to work on but I don't know how. I feel like just being alone a lot of the time. I avoid his phone calls sometimes or make excuses not to see him. It's like as soon as this relationship got too "real" I started backing away and I'm not sure why.
Somebody please help me understand what I'm doing...

It sounds like that is exactly what you need to do, you need to get your life in order before attempting to connect with someone on this level.
James
janderson_ny@yahoo.com
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