Do I have to tell my husband EVERYTHING?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2007
Do I have to tell my husband EVERYTHING?
15
Sat, 11-05-2011 - 9:24pm

I've been married now for 13 years and our marriage has slowly deteriorating.

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Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Tue, 11-08-2011 - 12:24am

OMG!!!

Goldfish

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Mon, 11-07-2011 - 12:06pm

wow; I didnt want to use that word but since you have yes

I think what the guy does is def. psycho.. and to be honest I doubt any type of therapy will work on him.

Avatar for khatru1
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2004
Mon, 11-07-2011 - 11:40am

I was going to say he was just being annoying until I read about the "test". Thats just psycho!

At first one might think, whats the big deal, just tell him what you are getting out of the cupboard,etc. I know where she is coming from. I have experienced the same thing. Its the idea that you get asked constantly what you are doing, what are you getting, etc.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Mon, 11-07-2011 - 11:07am

Maybe he "didn't used to be" but he IS now.......and there's a reason.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Mon, 11-07-2011 - 11:06am

When I read the sentence about you saying "nothing" when he asks you what you're getting out of the cabinet, I thought, well, that's stupid. Why would she take nothing out of a cabinet, why can't she just say she's gettin a box of rice? That isn't difficult.

Then I went on to read the rest, and I realize you are tired of having to answer for every single step you take in your life.

I would not be able to live with a man like this. I hope you don't have children with this guy. If you really want things to work, I would tell him that you're not happy with the way you communicate as a couple and you want to try marriage counseling in order to try to come to a compromise where he doesn't think you're being secretive, and you don't feel like you're being micromanaged.

I will say that it probably not work. Your husband needs individual counseling in order to overcome his instinct to control you in order to avoid feeling insecure. But at least marriage counseling MAY open the door to that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2002
Sun, 11-06-2011 - 10:47pm

I would flat out ask him WHY he is asking such questions and testing you?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Sun, 11-06-2011 - 6:28pm

Yeah; This whole thing smells like a rat to me..

It could be def. pathological whatever that means. I am assuming your hubby needs help.

He could also be trying to make you think you are crazy.. which is called in abusive terms "crazymaking".

Yeah; you need to get to therapy asap .. I think you should go alone first so that hubby doesnt or cant have a chance to manipulate you or sabatogue it..

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2010
Sun, 11-06-2011 - 6:00pm
weazlegirl1974 wrote:

....

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Sun, 11-06-2011 - 1:00pm

I stick to

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2007
Sun, 11-06-2011 - 10:38am

Listen, I know I'm not infallible in this relationship - I have flaws.

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