do i leave?
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do i leave?
| Fri, 11-02-2007 - 5:20pm |
I need some advice...i have been with my bf for over 3 years. We are in an LDR in college and love each other very much; get along so well. Over the last year though i catch him in little "white lies". He may tell me where he is- but not all of the story or he may just leave out details he fears will upset me (most probably wouldn't)
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Do you get upset easily about small things? Do you think it is reasonable for him to want to leave out things so you don't jump on him? Can you give an example of a whilte lie???
Also. have you ever asked him if he felt the need to do this growing up with his parents and now it is a habit??
Well i can tell you that he still "white lies" to his parents about normal things that college kids might...such as drinking and such
White lies to me are things like not telling me he is going out because he shoudl be doing school work, not telling me everyone he invites to a party he's having (that i can't attend ), things like that...he is not cheating on me but he is not telling me everything about a situation for some reason. Whether its to keep his independence or not worry me- i dont like it.
Since your relationship is LD, you're obviously going to do a lot of things without the other, and some of the things women regard as interesting topics of conversation ("Who's coming to the party?") are things men regard as the necessary but uninteresting stuff that a person has to do to achieve broader objectives. Some of what you're describing may be related to this difference between the sexes.
HOWEVER, a pattern of telling a lie rather than the truth just because he doesn't want to have a conversation with his mother about something he knows will disturb her is likely to spill over into the rest of his life, including the part associated with his career and the part he shares with you. As far as the guest list for his parties goes, are the same people or groups of people getting left off? If he keeps saying, "Oh, yes, and that girl Melody was there, too," you might want to find out about her.
'not telling me he is going out because he shoudl be doing school work'
This sounds like something a son does with his parents. Do you give him a hard time about it or does he just feel like he has do this to anyone?
I dont think i give him a hard time about it...i try to be supportive but it is possible that this is the reason he lied about that particular incident.
I guess I need to mention one big thing....he hooked up with a girl early into our relationship. We worked thru it and the following year was great, i gained my trust back and he worked hard for it.