do i let him walk away?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2003
do i let him walk away?
2
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 12:00am
HI, my name is josie and i am looking for some outside advice. I been with my boyfriend for two years and everything has been wonderful until now. We were so in love couldn't stand being away from each other. Let me give you a brief version of how i got here. For the last four months we have been fighting with each other about everything and anything. We have both said things we wish we could take back. It all came to a head last week, when i asked him if he wanted to try to fix things between us and i was floored by what he said. He told me he needed time and space to reevaluate his life. He doesnt know if he is still "in love" with me. My heart is breaking everyday because i love hime so much. I dont understand why he would want to just walk away from us. When couples have problems dont they try to fix them? How can someone walk away from two years of being with someone? We have been through so much together. My question is do i just let him walk away or fight for what i believe in which is us? sorry i am ramblin on...i just dont understand any of this....any advice is greatly appreciated

Josie
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2004
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 1:14am
My husband of 4 years announced May 2nd , quite cruelly, that he did not love me & that he had rented an apartment. He has left. My 13 yr. old son's daddy died May 26, 2003 & now his stepfather leaves us. What a kind man! It is most often that a man leaves for another woman. It is nearly impossible to break the "spell" that a new relationship has over people in that stage of euphoria! You just have to sit it out & see if the new relationship survives or fails. You can not force someone to love you...that is the reality of it all. Men don't usually like needy, whiny women. However, I acan not say that I haven't sent a few e-mails his way. I am sure that it will not bring him back & I will look back later & regret having spilled my heart out to him, but for not it is like journaling & greif therapy.

God bless.

Dandelion

Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 10:10am

Clearly there have been difficulties going on between the two of you for awhile that you have been fighting about. It's too bad that you both were not able, at that time, to really sit down and take a good look at what was fuelling these arguments, what the problem really was. Obviously there have been issues going on that have not been understood or communicated. When that happens, the frustration or resentment can build up and a person just wants to walk out. Of course you can ask him to come with you to an objective, professional to get some help in working this through together. He, however, must want to come. You cannot force someone to deal with the problems in a constructive way. It's really not a matter of "letting" him walk.