do i tell?
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| Tue, 08-19-2008 - 3:06pm |
My best friend has been with this guy 3 years, was always a pretty good rl but he did cheat on her (once to her knowledge). They reconciled after about 5 months and things seem to be going pretty well till he told her a stupid white lie and because trust was an issue, she ended things.
Fast forward a year...after almost a year apart, they once again reconciled. He was miserable without her and begged for another chance, since the breakup was not over a second round of cheating- it was actually something that otherwise would prob have just caused a small fight- she has given him another chance.
Well I found out last week that he cheated on her again when they reconciled. Like 3 times with one girl- who was involved with someone else, so it was purely a physical thing. Things ended with this hookup, and of course then my friend and him broke up for almost a year...and the entire time they were broken up he did not hook up with anyone. He told his friends he had learned how hard it was to be without her and he woudl never do it again to her.
Now what do I do? I know this information, which would surely end this RL. Yet, for a year he has been "faithful" even though they weren't together and he had no reason to be, in an attempt to make a personal change. Do I hope he has made that change, since he seemed to hold back when he didnt' have to...or do I blow this wide open?
Harboring this information is absolutely horrible. I need advice

That's a hard one... turn it around, what if you were in your best friends shoes, would you want her to tell you if she had this info or would you rather her keep it to herself?
Knowing that he is a repeat offender, and this relationship hasn't been good from the start. The breaking up and getting back together (that is not a good relationship), he has cheated on and lied to her more than once (usually cheating takes counseling to work through the issues so that it isn't repeated). Do you actually believe he has learned his lesson this time? I wouldn't (since he has repeated his behavior), but whether or not you tell her is your decision.
You need to do what you think is the right thing to do.
Yes I think i would want to know. But I am confident he will deny this information and it will put me in the middle. Since this girl also has a bf, its not like she would ever admit it if my friend confronted her either. Then I'll be the brunt of their new set of problems
meanwhile he is sleeping around- and who knows if he uses any protection. Its all drunken college sex. He tells his freinds how much he loves her; but when he gets drunk and horny it was another story.
I know guys outgrow this (well hopefully) and the fact he has kept his pants on for a year- when he was actually free to roam- does make me wonder if by chance he is growing up and realizing he is risking losing her. It is a possiblity...but then I slap myself in the head and say "dont be an idiot"