Do you think he will cheat on me?
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Do you think he will cheat on me?
| Fri, 02-24-2012 - 8:11am |
I have been dating my SO for a little less than a year and we now live together. We are incredibly happy. I have been cheated on in the past so it is a fear I deal with constantly in relationships. I so much want this relationship to work. So what is the problem? I met my boyfriend on Match and within weeks we became exclusive and both took our profiles down. He does however still keep his OKCupid profile up, which he told me about. He changed his status to "seeing someone" and said on his profile he is seeing a "fantastic girl" and is 'open to friendships." So he is not trying to hide the fact that he uses it, but really, do men need to be online to find female friends? It just bothers me. He is always affectionate and loving so I don't sense he is on the prowl...yet. Another thing that bothered me is that I looked through his many questions he answered (Okcupid has lots of fun quizzes and answers) and it asked 'Would you ever be with someone just for booty calls and sex with no intention of a relationship" and he answered "yes" and in the note field put "and still do." Obviously this was before I met him. He says he has never been a player type and was married for 12 years (recently divorced). But now I don't know. I am worrying about nothing? I just don't want to get hurt. Other than these two factors I have no other reason to think he will cheat on me.
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Did he cheat during his marriage?
I agree with peaceyma.
Funny enough, another question he answered was "do you think it's ok to have a profile on OKCupid if you are in a committed relationship". He answered "yes" with the explanation "it is possible to find friends on this site, and if you trust eachother, there should not be a problem." So I have my answer, and I think he completed that before we met. So I need to give him the benefit of the doubt, he only logs into it once and a while. In fact, I'm going to create a profile looking for friends and see just how comfortable he is knowing men are contacting me! I know for a fact that is going to bother him.
But if it really makes you that uncomfortable, why don't you just ask him why he's kept his OKCupid profile? Why not just tell him that you're not 100% comfortable with him still having it? Maybe he just doesn't realize it bothers you and will gladly take it down once you mention something. On the other hand, if he suddenly gets very defensive, then you might be right to be cautious and question this. Either way, you should talk to him about it - if you can't talk to each other about things which bother you, you'll never have a healthy, successful relationship anyway.
Genealogical Musings
Just because you have been cheated on in the past doesn't mean that you have made bad choices in a partner. You had no control of cheating partners choice. Just because you have been cheated on doesn't mean you have low self esteem and are on a destructive cycle of bad relationships.
Goodluck. I hope it turns out well for you. Take care
You know, I'm on match and I found this guy's profile that I thought was just great from reading it and I was all set to contact him, then at the end he said that he had found a woman on that site, he was in a relationship w/ her and he was still open to having friends--it didn't sound to me like he wanted to cheat but from the perspective of a woman who is looking for a boyfried, not just a friend, I thought it was so odd--why would I try to start a friendship w/ a guy i don't know who's got a GF?
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