Hi everyone, i'm pretty new to this bored, I lurk every so often. I've been with my boyfriend for 3 and a half years. He is convinced that I am the person he wants to spend the rest of his life with, although I'm not sure yet. I have very mixed feelings about him. On one hand he treats me very well, he respects me and is very considerate of my feelings. I have 2 children from a previous marriage, and their father has no contact with them, my current boyfriend has really stepped in and helped me raise them. They were 2 and 3 when we met, now they are 6 and 7. I am a very young mother (23), and still trying to figure out what I want. Anyway, to just skip the long introduction and get to the point, my problem is this - my boyfriend is building a new business, which of course means he is his own boss, and makes his own hours. When he works (installing home theater's) he works very hard and loves what he does. But, there are several days when he won't have a installation, and he'll sleep until 12:00 or 1:00 in the afternoon. On the weekends if he isn't working he sleeps that late also. I would understand a little more if once a week he slept that late, but for instance, this week he hasn't had any installations, i call him everyday from work, around 12:00 - he is still asleep. As I said before, I have two children, I also work full time, and my children are both in taekwondo and my daughter is also in girl scouts. In other words, I am always doing something. I know all you mothers can relate. My boyfriend and I used to share a house, but I was so frustrated all the time, because every morning I would get up and get the kids and myself ready for school and work, and he would sleep until 9:00 most days, and on the days when he is off, he sleeps much later. Plus he doesn't take responsibility around the house. I have to twist his arm to help keep it clean. Maybe this sounds like petty stuff to some of you, but it really bothers me, and I guess I just feel like maybe I don't want to live with a man for the rest of my life who would prefer to sleep all day, than live life. He also stays up late at night playing x-box, which is ok every once in awhile, but I feel like once you become an adult, maybe you should put away the videogames, at least during the week...
Am I being too demanding? When i was growing up, I remember my father waking up early on the weekends with my mother and we would all make big breakfast together, and my father always helped my mother around the house. If there was a problem he would fix it. He was very into life and doing things. And as my mother tells me, he was always like that, even when he was in his early 20's. So, the excuse of my boyfriend still being young doesn't work with me.
I think that there are different types of people. I am the type who wants to enjoy all the things life has to offer. When I'm not working I don't want to waste my life away sleeping or playing videogames. My boyfriend is more than happy staying in-doors, sleeping, watching movies and playing videogames.
Do you think this will ever change?
Well, your main question seems to be if you are "being to demanding" and I will say that you are and you are not.
You are not being too demanding from the respect of this is what you want and need in your life.
James
janderson_ny@yahoo.com
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