Does he like her or what ?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2013
Does he like her or what ?
Fri, 07-19-2013 - 2:06pm

Im kind of seeing this guy and weve been "texting " as he calls it for nearly 10 months now and i don't know whether i should end this or not . My other friends say im stupid for feeling this way but here goes . About a month into me texting him things were rocky and everyone we know went to this club and there i hooked up with his best friend (i didn't know) and he saw us and flipped out then later my friend asked me to hook up with him and he was ready and willing and i said no. My friend was so angry at me for saying no because of what weve supposedly been through at that point me and him were only texting for a month and i dint really have as strong feelings but he went crazy at me and got really angry when i tried to apologise the next day. Then my OTHER friend lets call her the manstealer added him on Facebook after i poured my heart out to her about how upset i was about the situation she added all teh guys ive hooked up with and i don't know why because she doesn't know them at all . He texted her asking he who she was and then she stupidly said she goes to my school and then he started flirting with her and she was flirting back . Now this friend of mine im sorry to be cocky isnt the prettiest especially compared to me . She doen't really have expeirence with guys either . but the next time he texted her was when i said i was going to an event that everyone was going to and he saw that i was going and then he texted her asking was she going and he said then he'll go . i figured he wanted to try and hook up with her to get back at me . Then we all went my manstealer friend included .. he didn't even look at her the whole time and he ended up hooking up with me .Then some guy came up and just randomly kissed me and he saw . Then he got some random girl who likes him but i dont think he's too into and made out with her infront of my face to try and make me jealous . Then the next time he texted my manstealer friend was when he wanted my number cos he lost it and he would normally ask my other firend but she had a fight with him  . Then when we were on the fone i was talking to him i was describing her acting like i didn't know he texted her and he told me he knew her brother i was like how does he know she has a brother ?  He used to like all her pictures just so  would know he was texting her and i didnt really react to them like i didnt text him or anything and now he doesnt do that at all . He told me a huge lie and said that she added him (which is true) and that she texted him first saying hi and all trying to make a conversation with him . 

Like am i overeacting or what ? As far as me and him go were undefined because of him ., hes crazy jealous so protective he wont let me say certain things because they make him feel angry . When i triend to break up with him he does everything to make me stay and when im here he just acts like an idiot , im getting really fed up of him but i know he's just going to make me try and stay again . 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 07-19-2013 - 3:44pm

It's very hard to follow what's going on here.  First of all, are you even in a relationship with this guy?  Do you do anything more than text?  I expect that you're very young from the way you write.  I have a 24 yr old DD & if she acted like you & your friends do, I'd really be horrified.  What kind of behavior is random hooking up, making out with people you're apparently not in a relationship with to make people jealous and a guy getting very angry at you for not hooking up with him when you have only been texting for a month--I would say that you dont' owe him sex but then you said that you hooked up with another guy that you weren't even in a relationship with--if this guy was trying to get to know you, can't you see how he'd be mad.  honestly, my only advice is to stop all this kind of behavior--not only is it immature, but it's dangerous--if you were to end up accidentally pregnant, would you even know who the father is? 

Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
Fri, 07-19-2013 - 5:45pm

It is a bit challenging following the post.  It is bit too abreviated for the board.

However, from what I can gather you are a young adult, and this R with this guy doesn't sound very healthy.  A person at any age deserves to be treated appropriately.  I understand not wanting to jump into a committed relationship, but I think we have all forgotten what dating really is.  It has nothing to do with hooking up, but rather getting to know someone. 

If you really don't want to be with this guy, then you need to really end it.  Period.  If you want to stay with him, then you two need to talk about how you each define your R.  If it is not the same, then hopefully you can both be adults and agree it isn't going to work.

Good luck with everything. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Sat, 07-20-2013 - 9:04am

I suspect you're all in high school......and typically playing games.  That's what immature kids do.  For future reference, if someone you're with gets angry with you over things you say or don't say, then it's time to lose that person........because getting angry over something that's said means that he has an anger problem, and it will escalate to him putting hands on you.......and THAT is something no self respecting woman will allow........once is enough!  This whole story is just typical high a few years you'll laugh about how silly it all is. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2009
Sat, 07-20-2013 - 3:55pm
Texting , facebook messages -- dont mean much while his jealousy ( possessiveness ) could get ugly
Avatar for Kendahke1
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2012
Sun, 07-21-2013 - 1:00pm

IMO, a texting involvment is not a relationship.  A relationship requires spending time in close proximity, not living it out in your head and on a cell phone.

Did either of you have any kind of understanding with regards to exclusivity?

It might be a good idea to put some distance between you and your "manstealing" friend.  You don't need people like that around you, constantly stabbing you in the back. Life's too short for that mess.  If he wants to follow her, let him.  He sounds like too much trouble for what it's worth.