does he love me or not?
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does he love me or not?
| Wed, 10-06-2004 - 9:31pm |
I was dating my "boyfriend" for almost two years. It was somewhat complicated as he was coming out of an 8 year relationship and he was very confused. He would continutally break up with me to go back to her and then he would come back to me saying he realized he loved me and I was the one he wanted to be with . He did this to me (or I let him do this to me) many many times over. He was just so convincing everytime he would practicallyh be in tears about how much he loved me. I finally had enough of this emotional rollercoaster and left him for good over a year ago. He begged and begged for me back (we worked together so I still saw him everyday) and I somehow had the strength to not go back to him. I knew that the minute I would go back to me he would leave me again. That's what he did. He would beg for me back things would be great for a short time and he would leave me again. So I finally learned and stopped going back. Recently we have had contact again and he still is begging for me back saying that over the course of the past year he has grown so much and he knows how terribly he treated me and that he still wants to marry me. He's saying thingws about how I am the one and he has never felt for anyone what he feels for me. But I know he was seeing someone while we were broken up and now they are broken up but are still very good friends as their is her 8 year old son involved. I actually know her. They were friends while we were together and then when we broke up he would cry to her and then as cliche as it is they became romantically involved. But again they broke up a few weeks ago or so he says. So after crying to me 2 weeks ago and telling me that he has changed and he wants to give me the world I finally said that I wanted to give it another try. And now he says he doesn't think it's the right time for us. He says he knows we will end up together but now is not our time. I think maybe he feels this way because my father is ill and i'm dealing with that and it is very hard for me. But he knew this when he was telling me two weeks ago he would marry me. So I guess I was right? How could someone keep doing this? WHY would someone do this? I mean it's been a year we've been broken up and havne't had much contact. He's suffered for a year without me and then when I finally say ok he says it's not the right time for us? Can someone please explain to me what kind of a person does this? I mean is he mentally ill or something? Please help because this boy is ruining my life!!

Sorry you have to go through this.
Carrie
There are many layers to this unfortunate and abusive situation. To begin, yes, he is emotionally ill. He vacillates, plays games with himself and also plays games with others. He doesn't know who he truly is, so he cannot be counted upon to stay through difficult times in a relationship. One minute this looks good, then it doesn't.
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