Does he really love me?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Does he really love me?
2
Thu, 02-19-2004 - 8:53pm
My boyfriend and I have been involved for 2 and 1/2 years, and we have been through a lot. We have both caused each other hurt in the past, but I still love him regardless. Now I am concerned about him and how he feels. He has started to act sort of differently now. I have already talked to him about it and he doesn't say to much. Latley it has been little things to tick him off and he gets mad at me, but he still doesn't say much. I still wonder sometimes if he even wants to be in this relationship with me. There are times where he acts as if he does and there are times where he doesn't. I really don't know what to do anymore. I am just trying to do the best that I can, and when I see certain things it does hurt me. How do I really find out if he wants to be in this relationship? He doesn't really talk much and is very quiet, but I do expect a little more from him. If I am giving I expect him to give too. But now I feel like I am giving too much, and he is giving nothing, and this is affecting me. How do I deal with this?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2003
Thu, 02-19-2004 - 10:08pm
Dear Confused,

I think that your bf needs to open up his heart a little more. Tell him what you are feeling when you are feeling it, he can't read your mind. But, the way he gets ticked off easily is a red flag... "I think" the reason he is getting so upset is because he needs a reason to detach from the relationship. He may be unsure about you two and needs to be alone. He believes the only way he can do that, without feeling guilty, is getting mad at you. He may also be upset about something else... do you think that he may be cheating on you??? If he starts accusing you of this then he may be guilty. There has to be a reason why he isn't talking to you!!!! In relationships there should always be communication. Do you two live together??? If so, then really you may be in the same situation I am... if your bf is like mine, he detaches because he is affraid of commiment. He needs to decide alone, what he wants, and when he does then the both of you can make a decision to try or quit on the relationship. You may also figure out what you really want too. If you can continue living the way things are then let be continue as is. But if you believe that you need more...

tell him. Don't blame yourself. If you ever need someone to talk to feel free to email me. mattysbabylove@yahoo.com

I hope I can help.

-Janelle

p.s. Read my discussion on Feb. 18, it may be able to help you!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
Fri, 02-20-2004 - 9:54am
'How do I really find out if he wants to be in this relationship?'

You sit down, have a heart-to-heart conversation and ask him. Tell him to look into your eyes and tell you what he wants from the relatiosnhip.