Does He Still Love Me?
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Does He Still Love Me?
| Tue, 03-13-2007 - 4:47pm |
My boyfriend and I have been together for five years this summer. When we first started dating, everything was passionate and he would bend over backwards to make me happy. Now I have to beg him to show affection, he's doesn't get as excited about sex as he used to, and I generally don't feel like he still loves me. About a year ago he had to move about 3 hours away for a job, and it's a fight every day to get to talk to him on the phone. I know he isn't being unfaithful, but I can't figure out what the problem is. We used to talk about marrige, and now when we talk about it he gets upset and says he just isn't financially ready. Do you think that is what he really means, or do you think he isn't happy with me and doesn't want a future together? Please help me!

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Hi linz_howard and welcome to the board.
It could be financial security reasons, but with the "I have to beg him to show affection, he's doesn't get as excited about sex as he used to" and "it's a fight every day to get to talk to him on the phone" - my guess is that neither of you really feel emotionally connected to each other or feel loved by the other.
I highly recommend the book, Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman and see if you can figure out which love langauge is yours and which is his, then work on it.
I don't know what he's thinking exactly, but it certainly doesn't sound good. If you have to beg him to call and be in touch with you, it's sounds more like he's withdrawing. Trust your own instincts about this. It must be very painful to see a relationship that meant so much to you drifting away. But it is important to face reality and not be left in hopes and dreams. When someone wants to marry, they let you know, they're excited and you both make plans. He's living 3 hours away and not staying in touch as he used to. If I were you I'd back off. Don't chase, don't do anything much, see what he does on his own. And, spend time asking yourself if "you" want this either? Do you want a relationship where you have to chase after a guy, and where he isn't so interested in you? Don't you deserve something better?
Take good care,
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