Does This Mean He Doesn't Love ME?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2003
Does This Mean He Doesn't Love ME?
5
Tue, 03-09-2004 - 12:40am
Tonight my SO said he didn't want to have sex. Just wanted to quickly jerk off by himself to porn and that was it even though I offered to go down on him. This isn't the first time he's turned down a blow job. Is this normal? He said he was too tired to have sex.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2004
Tue, 03-09-2004 - 1:09am
I know that porn is usually my competitor when im not there, but I find it odd that you were offering and he knocked you back. I dont think he means that he doesnt love you, i just think its very strange. Wouldnt it take more effort for him to jerk off than for you to go down on him?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2003
Tue, 03-09-2004 - 8:01am

Well, it is certainly odd for a guy to turn down a blow job for porn, I have nothing against porn, and I watch it sometimes too, but to turn down a blow job isn't exactly normal.


On the other hand, while it is not "normal" I don't think it means that he doesn't love you, but I do think you should talk to him about this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2004
Tue, 03-09-2004 - 10:26am
I don't know if you want a different perspective or not, but I think jerking-off is sick, as is pornography. Whether what he did means he does or doesn't love you, I don't know. Maybe in his own limited way.

I have high expectations of my SO and myself. I don't want him to fantasize about others, obviously I can't control that. However, I offer the same to him. If I see an attractive man, I immediately super-impose his image over him. That way, my heart stays true (er) and I don't go wandering off with some insane imaginings. Personally, I think a person's imagination can get them into a lot of trouble.

It's pretty tough to find someone who is willing to meet high ideals in this day and age, but I wouldn't settle for less. Oral sex can be o.k. sometimes, I suppose, but no one should have to feel degraded by the sex act. GOOD sex is about a partnership with both considering the needs of the other as much as their own. Don't sell yourself short. Best wishes.

Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 03-09-2004 - 11:06am

Some men become addicted to porn. This is a danger. Porn, (which is essentially fantasy

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Tue, 03-09-2004 - 4:04pm
Hmm, didn't want a blow job.... or didn't want to take the time to please you in case you got aroused giving a blow job?


Carrie