Does NO TRUST mean NO RELATIONSHIP?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2007
Does NO TRUST mean NO RELATIONSHIP?
3
Tue, 12-11-2007 - 9:05pm

I know people always say that if you dont trust your partner the relationship will never work? But how much should you trust him? How do you know when your questioning him too much and pushing him away or just being cautious and looking out for yourself? When should you be suspicious? What questions are okay to ask? Are questions such as "Who was that on the phone?" or "Why did it take you so long to get here?" okay? So where exactly do you draw the line with trust before you ruin the relationship or before you get hurt?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Tue, 12-11-2007 - 11:47pm

Being cautious and looking out for yourself is something you do if you've seen a couple of red flags.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Wed, 12-12-2007 - 1:25pm

Welcome to the board beachbum09,


Not having trust in a relationship will make it hard for the relationship to survive. However, when a relationship is first starting out there is a period of time where trust is being earned and what happens during that time can affect whether or not we trust someone.


How long have you been together? Has he given you any reason not to trust him?

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Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 12-12-2007 - 4:13pm

No one likes to feel doubted, checked up on, and hounded with questions and suspicion. This creates a bad feeling in the person and in the relationship. Unless you can have fundamental trust in your partner (and in yourself), unless you can give them space to be who they are, to come and go, then we are not talking about a love relationship, but a form of possession. Then you are using the person as a way to hide from your own insecurities.


If you feel so uneasy about your partner, look deeper to see why? Have they given you reason to doubt them, or is it your own lack of confidence in yourself? Do you feel lovable and worthwhile? Do you need constant reassurance from them? The best of all is to feel good about yourself, to feel whole and worthwhile. When you do, you will not feel so nervous about what your partner thinks and does.


Best wishes,