Does this seem weird?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2006
Does this seem weird?
13
Sat, 10-20-2012 - 2:23am

My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year. We hardly spend any time together about three or four days out of the month we see each other.  I tell him all the time I want to see him more, but it just does not happen. His excuses are gas is too expensive, or I live too far away (40 miles). I offer to go to his place, which I have done in the past, and he won’t let me because his house is messy and he doesn’t want me driving so early in the morning to go home.  He goes to work early. He says he wants to be in a relationship, says that he loves me and is lucky to have me, even talks about moving in together. I am growing more and more skeptical of any kind of future with him and him not letting me come over to his house is a big red flag for me and it has become an issue in our relationship along with not spending time together. Am I making a big deal out of nothing?   

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2010
Tue, 10-23-2012 - 1:05am
posting error
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2005
Fri, 10-26-2012 - 1:31pm

From my perspective, yes, it seems VERY weird. To me, it seems like he's either not THAT into you or maybe hes investing a lot more time seeing another woman, which is why he only sees YOU 3 to 4 times out of an entire month and never wants you to go to his place. Things should've progressed a little more considering you guys have been together almost a year now. not to marriage or even living together but definitely seeing each other wayyyy more than that, thats only once a week practically. It would be very hard for me to take someone serous that hardly spends time with me. How can the relationship grow like that? I would definitely express my concerns and state that things need to change, you're not happy. If things dont, move on. There are plenty of men that would probably love to spend more time with you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2006
Wed, 11-28-2012 - 1:02am

Just wanted to give you all an update. I did end up breaking it off with him. When I finally confronted him about how his actions were not matching what was coming out of his mouth, I got a weird version of a it's not you it's me speach. Apparently he was/is depressed and is having a hard time in his life finacially. At that point it clicked with me that no matter how hard I tried or what solutions I offered for us to spend more time together, he was never going to let me in to his life, for whatever reason. I haven't heard from him since.  I have been doing really well since then, I have been spending some time to do some self nurturing and in that process realized that I was not done healing from the abusive relationship I was in before this one. So I am going to work on myself for awhile and get to where I need to be in life before I pursue another relationship. 

Pages