Don't know how to change
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Don't know how to change
| Thu, 10-14-2004 - 3:49pm |
Alright so here is my problem, I have an amazing boyfriend, and amazing house, go to an amazing school but I don't feel at all amazing. My life is just not the way I want it to be.
At the beginning of our relationship my boyfriend said he loved me. Things were working and we were moving forward. The problem is, before him I was in a very abusive relationship and I'm not over that terror.
I am really edging and not kind and cheery like I always have been.
The problem is, my boyfriend said the spark went out. He said that he still really cares about me but the love is gone. He said that he just doesn't know what to do to bring it back cause he tries but he doesn't feel it.
It consumes me tho. I try not to think about it but still the only thing I seem to do is think about how he doesn't love me. I think about it so much that the cheery me will never come back. I feel like unless I am cheery all the time he will never love me. It's like no other qualities are enough? I feel like I'm not enough?
At the beginning of our relationship my boyfriend said he loved me. Things were working and we were moving forward. The problem is, before him I was in a very abusive relationship and I'm not over that terror.
I am really edging and not kind and cheery like I always have been.
The problem is, my boyfriend said the spark went out. He said that he still really cares about me but the love is gone. He said that he just doesn't know what to do to bring it back cause he tries but he doesn't feel it.
It consumes me tho. I try not to think about it but still the only thing I seem to do is think about how he doesn't love me. I think about it so much that the cheery me will never come back. I feel like unless I am cheery all the time he will never love me. It's like no other qualities are enough? I feel like I'm not enough?

Relationship Rescue by Phil McGraw
Getting the Love You Want, Harville Hendrix
The 10 Second Kiss, Ellen Kreidman
Build intimacy and spark - Date nights help, taking a class together, like a dance class, read to each other, get a hobby together, flirting (leave him a note on his computer, send him a card, buy flowers) tell him what you want to do with him. Surprise him, do something out of the ordinary.
The last book on the list above states: People fall in love and stay in love not because of how they feel about the other person, but how they feel about themselves while with that person.
My best to you.
Carrie