Don't know how to deal with this...
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| Wed, 03-21-2007 - 7:11pm |
This problem is not as major as some of the others I've seen on here, but it's caused me a lot of sadness and stress...maybe you can help.
I've been with my boyfriend for 11 months (he's 29, never been married, I'm 34 and divorced). We have very good communication, get along well, and he is wonderful with my son. We typically see each other the two weekend nights and one night during the week (not dates always-sometimes it's staying in with me and my son). We both love each other very much and have talked about the future..I feel in my heart that he is the man that I should be with. We have been planning to move in together next fall. I know that my son and I mean the world to him and he loves us with all of his heart-he wants nothing more than for me to be happy.
So what is the problem, you ask? From a practical standpoint, I am not getting everything I need in the relationship, specifically attention. And sometimes, when I am having a bad time with my son or stress, etc, there are times when he is not able to be there for me. I do not have that security of knowing that he will be able to provide comfort.
There are reasons behind this, the main reason being that he has bipolar disorder, and I know that when BPs are in lows they are not capable of doing much. I hate that he has to go through what he does, and I also know that there is very little I can do to help him at those times, which is frustrating.
My heart tells me that he is the One. But I find myself asking the question: can a person be the One if they can't always be there for you? And if the answer is yes, then I need to figure out how to cope with this-I've been brainstorming and I can't figure out what to do. I have many people in my life, male and female, that are there for me and I can call anytime. But then it feels wrong, because shouldn't I be going to my #1? Do I back off from the seriousness of the relationship in an attempt to avoid those frustrations? Do I resolve to only go within myself for comfort, and if so, what does that imply in the relationship? I guess it goes back to the same question..
Thank you in advance for any insight you might have-I appreciate it very much.
kmgirl

Welcome to the board kmgirl2006
I'm going to give you a few things to check out -
Bipolar Disorder