Don't know the next step
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Don't know the next step
| Fri, 01-09-2004 - 8:22pm |
I am inlove with a man who is considerably older than me. But that has nothing to do with what is bothering me. In a month or so, I'll be going back to college and play softball. The rest of my winter and spring will be busy with practices, games, traveling, and school. His spring will be busy with coaching a high school softball team. I almost feel the pain of jealousy right now, him being around all those girls and knowing that i was there age when i first fell inlove with him. I am scared that he might find someone else who he can spend more time with and leave me. And I know that he doesn't think so, but maybe there is someone out there that can make him more happy than myself. How do people get over the idea that maybe there is someone better out there for the one you love. I've tried for a couple of years to convince myself that I am the only one for him, i've known that he is the only one for me. But i am still scared that since i wont be able to see him as much that he might want to be somewhere else. He says that he would never go anywhere else in a million years but how can i believe that when you just never know what might happen. I am just wondering what I should do in order to get over this jealousy or whatever it is, to feel more secure, more confident that we are going to get thru this rough time in our relationship. Or even the simple fact that i need to get over that he wont find himself happier somewhere else even though he says he couldnt ever be any happier then when he is with me. Thanks for you time.

Has he every said or done anything to make you feel that he might stray? If so, then I believe your worries are valid although, again, there's not much you can do. However, if he has never given you reason to doubt his love and devotion to you, I would try to put my concerns away if I were you. There's no sense in worrying about what we don't need to, and being unnecessarily jealous is NOT pretty! :-)
Confidence in the one we love (with our eyes OPEN) shows maturity - You can't put him in a protective bubble away from all other girls/women. So have faith, unless he's given you reason not to.
you should never out yourself down and say that there is someone who will make him happier then you. If you are doing what u r supposed to be doing.... and he leaves you for someone else then maybe he isnt worth it. Some people can never be satisfied no matter how much you try... and if you know that you are doing your thing and he chooses to go after someone else them maybe he was never the guy for you.
But honestly it really sounds to me like this is more about you... you need to love you... you need to feel secure and confident about yourself.... you know there may be someone that can make him happier but listen hun there is always going to be someone that is prettier then you...smarter then you and so on... you have yo be happy with yourself and know that your a good person and a good girlfriend and if he chooses to stray dont blame it on yourself.....
Just make sure that you talk to him about this...
Since you are in school, take advantage of their counseling program and get some short-term counseling to help you sort through the issues and start working on them.
Reading material you might want to consider:
Learning to Love Yourself: Finding Your Self-Worth, by Sharon Wegscheider Cruse
How to Succeed at Being Yourself: Finding the Confidence to Fulfill Your Destiny, by Joyce Meyer
How to Raise Your Self-Esteem, Nathaniel Brandon
The Magic of Thinking Big, David J. Schwartz
Teen Esteem: A Self-Direction Manual for Young Adults by Pat Palmer
The Four Agreements, Miguel Ruiz
My best to you.
Carrie