don't know what to do
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| Thu, 12-27-2007 - 11:29am |
First of all I'm new to this forum and site ... so hello.
Here is my situation. My bf and I met 2 years ago. He was 23 and I was 30. The age difference never really bothered me ... but it was something that I considered before our relationship started.
When we started dating everything was good ... we had the same interests and the same goals.
We moved in with one another and continued to be a perfect couple. We always laughed and were people constantly commented about how in love we are.
Fast forward a year and a half. We started a business together. He stays at home and runs it full time and I work a 9 to 5 until our business starts earning money.
The problem is - im super jealous - he gets to sleep as long as he wants. His friends come during the day to hang out, he doesn't have a care in the world. I get upset because I hate my 9 to 5 and I want to be home running the business with him.
So know that my jealousy has kicked into high gear - I'm angry. If someone comes over at night, I start yelling that I have to get some sleep and they need to leave. If he touch a beer, I start yelling saying it must be nice to be able to do whatever you want.
I don't want to hurt him - I love him - But I have become so miserable and I feel like he is not helping me change my situation. When he wanted to leave his job, I worked harder so he could. I don't know how to end this negative attitude I have and help him see that he needs to take more responsibility.

Welcome to the board jeces,
Have you talked to him and told him how you are feeling?
Maybe you both could get part time jobs so that each of you gets the opportunity to spend some time at home and you wouldn't be as stressed out.
glitter-graphics.com
glitter-graphics.com
How is the business going to take off if he is sleeping in and having friends over?
I think perhaps if you sit down with him and lay down some expectations to go with the business you might feel a lot better about the situation.
If he can sleep in while you are out every day earning the living for both of you as well as putting in time on the business, it's time for him to take over the house, the cleaning, and the laundry. This may require him to get up earlier, so he will be able to get his home responsibilities taken care of before he sits down to the computer.
As far as the business itself goes, he may not have a clear realization of how much time he is (or isn't) devoting to it. I have worked at jobs that were doing time studies, and every day we all had to keep a log, in ink, of what we did: 9:00 - 9:10 on phone with ABC Co--they want 1000 widgets; 9:10 - 9:30 type widget order and fax to warehouse; 9:30 - 9:45 review designs for ultra-widgets and email comments to R&D, etc. He needs to do the same thing, whether he is seeking customers (keep a list) or making sales (keep a list), you are entitled to see the records of what's going on. He may see from keeping this log that he needs to pick up the pace or limit visits from his friends. You may see that he's doing more than you had been thinking he was doing, or that he's just been lazing around, which is obviously what you suspect--and so, to be frank, would I.