Don't know what to do

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
Don't know what to do
2
Wed, 01-07-2004 - 7:59pm
I am 20, and have been dating my 21-year old boyfriend for over a year. We met here at school, where we both live in the same single-occupancy dorm. He broke up with a girl when he met me, because he saw that he could have a better relationship with me than with her. The first year went very well, we discussed marriage in the distant future (in about 5-6 years after I graduate from vet school) and had a lot of plans. We were taking a trip back to school after Thanksgiving break, and he said that he had been thinking about the future, and said that our professions might not be compatible. He may have the possibility of moving around, and it is best for vets to stay in one place. (he said this in so many words)

So, he said that he didn't know what he wanted in the future anymore. Since then, things have gone downhill. I found myself trying to impress him, not acting like myself in order to make him see what he has. Lastnight we were talking and he said that he doesn't see our relationship going forever. I am only 20, but after talking about marriage, this is kind of dishartening. I am not sure if I should continue with the relationship, and try to push away the "sence of impending doom" that came when he said he didn't want to be with me forever. If there is a chance of it working out, I want to take it, so I don't regret it. On the other hand, I don't want to restrict myself to a dead-end relationship if he doesn't want to get married to me someday, and risk being together for several ore years and suffer a sudden and emotional breakup. I guess I'm asking what other would do in my position. Unfortunately, I would not be able to be friends with him, atleast not at first. I love him so much, and he's been a big part of my life for over a year. I would not be able to downshift to being just friends without hurting myself worse.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2003
Thu, 01-08-2004 - 1:13am

After hitting the "reply" button, I realized I'm not so sure what to say!! While I agree that it's usually bad to stick in a relationship if you know it's going to end sometime ... I also think that at such a young age people tend to change their minds a lot! (I'm 21, a youngin' too!).

*~Rachel~*
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2003
Thu, 01-08-2004 - 1:42am
remember that he took an interest in u and said bye bye to his former gf..seems to me that he may have spotted his next gf and is, indeed, preparing u for a bye bye. break his pattern by saying bye bye to him b4 he utters those disheartening words to u.

in fact find urself another date b4 uttering those words.

once a guy shows how disloyal he can be, i wd never trust him.

so sorry

bye bye

kitties