Is the door closed for good?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2007
Is the door closed for good?
5
Wed, 11-07-2007 - 12:47am

So here's the scoop...I had been dating a guy for about two months and things were going well. We spoke on the phone regularly and saw each other at least once a week. A little over a month ago he stopped returning calls when he said that he would. He also kept putting off seeing each other. Now let me preface this by telling you that his job keeps him pretty busy and about 6 weeks ago the really hectic schedule started for the next few months. Right before he started acting different, he was out of town for a week for work. I told him that I would like to see him before he left town and he said that was fine and we would figure out a time but I never heard from him until after he had already left town via text message. At first he acted like nothing happened and when I told him that I was upset that he just blew me off without even so much as a text/call to say I'm really busy and I don't think I will have time or something like that. He apologized and said he would make it up to me when he got back. When he got back, I never did see him and he never brought it up. Over the following two weeks we talked maybe once a week and I still didn't see him because he was busy with work. I was really ready to just say forget it, obviously he is not interested but my friends (guys)advised me to give him one last chance. Finally, he said that we would hang out on a Monday night. When I spoke to him the day before, he said that it would have to be Tuesday because he had to work. (let me just reiterate that he does work a lot. I would rather not list his profession but lets just say that his schedule is public knowledge, no he is not a pro athlete but along those lines). So Tuesday rolls around and I text him to find out what time we are meeting and he writes back "Don't hate me but I can't and I totally forgot". I didn't even bother to respond and I never heard from him and that was two weeks ago.

Tonight I went out to an event and he saw me (I did not see him) and he sent me a text saying "nice seats" to which I responded "thank you" (after calling one of my guy friends for council). He then responded "u hate me" and I wrote back "when you are ready to be a man and be real with me then give me a call, its not that hard" (also on the advice of my guy friend). About ten minutes later, I felt bad for saying "when you are ready to be a man" and he never responded. So I sent him another text that said "and I don't hate anyone". I should also say that I never yelled, cursed or got emotional during the time that he was being flaky, I just did not put any more effort into the relationship. When he acted badly, I didn't chase after him or get emotional. I did like him a lot and was very disappointed with how he handled things (assuming he just didn't have the balls to tell me that he wasn't interested) so I guess I felt the need to just kinda put it out there tonight. So after all of that I guess my question is, was my response (when you are ready to be a man?) too harsh? Was my assumption that he was bullsh*tting me wrong? Will I ever get that call? Not because I want to continue to date him but because I just want him to be straight with me instead of wondering what the hell happened...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Wed, 11-07-2007 - 1:50am

Hi Gal_mayes


Yeah,

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Wed, 11-07-2007 - 11:25am

Welcome to the board gal_mayes,


::I wrote back "when you are ready to be a man and be real with me then give me a call, its not that hard" (also on the advice of my guy friend).


You insulted him based on your guy friend's advice..... does your guy friend LIKE you?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2006
Wed, 11-07-2007 - 12:17pm
I think is was a little over the top especially based on how young the 'relationship' was. Yes it is immature not to be honest with you and to write to you to say 'don't hate me' is a little manipulative. Let this go and take the responisibility to notice when a relationship isn't a relationship and when you have to let go. You were expecting more that he could give and you knew that for quite a while.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-07-2007 - 9:06pm

Yeah--he's not gonna be straight with you

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Wed, 11-07-2007 - 9:57pm

>>your response was a little harsh but this ship sailed of his own volition long before that text was sent.<<


Yep.

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace