Do's and Dont's before Marriage
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Do's and Dont's before Marriage
| Thu, 01-15-2004 - 10:59pm |
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years and we had lots of arguments about sex before marriage. I don't mind the not having sex, its the other stuff the touching and feeling. I know my boyfreind loves me but I don't feel that he's sexually attracted to me at all. How can I marry someone like this?

Listen to those instincts - or pay for it later.
Peace - Pebbles
pebbles is right -i DID marry someone like this and I DO regret it - the marriage was VERY VERY VERY difficult and unhealthy and i am now finally on my way out of it. my STBX's reasons for not having any physical relationship beforehand were religious (we are orthodox jews tho i no longer follow THAT kind of orthodoxy). I, like you, didn't have a problem (at the time) with not having sex but I felt that "something" wasn't quite right. I am very sorry that i didn't follow my instincts. the entire marriage was terible for all kinds of reasons, he has alot of other issues.
why are you arguing? what is his reasoning for not having a sexual life before the marriage?
what other issues do you see?
You can't marry someone who is not attracted to you. If there is no sex, no touching or feeling or affection for 3 years, then this man is not a boyfriend, he is a friend. There's a big difference. How can you be in a relationship for this length of time without any physical contact at all? What is it that keeps you there? Perhaps you have some fear of physical intimacy? Clearly, he does. I would find someone professional to talk to about this, as there are probably many issues and feelings you have that are unexplored. But, the bottom line is, certainly without physical warmth and contact there is no basis for a marriage at all.
Take good care of yourself and get the help with this you deserve.
All good wishes.
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