Double Standard
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Double Standard
| Sun, 02-15-2004 - 11:30pm |
I have a general question! I was reading Ask the relationship saver by Dr. Shossanna & it states all the the things women should not ask a man. to ask was "Do you Find Another women Sexy? & What are you thinking about(while in bed) And the response given was as women we should never make the man basically feel "embarrassed". Whatever..Anyway my question is, Rather my statement is that as women are we not allowed to share in the "Female" fantasy because..what?We will make our male counter parts feel inferior? COME ON!!My thing is if I feel as though we are stuck in some time warp & I welcome any critisiscm. My deal is that as women are we honestly supposed to cater to men like this?Ridiculous! I believe in 50/50. The way alot of people I encounter see it it is almost like a "Suffocate your man ordeal" This is outrageous to me! Where are the women saying that this is no longer just a man's world? Now "Jim" can fantasize about Whomever but we must keep secret our fantasies of"Luke" the 12"hottie? But of course we must, We cannot risk hurting "Blanks" self-esteem? To me this is so funny, stupid have you. I am sick and tired of catering to any one person. Why is it this way,I suppose is the question? I am certaintly NOT male bashing, as I adore men but I am only generalizing.....

While I agree that double standards are irritating, I don't see any double standard in the simple rule "Don't hurt your partner's feelings by making him/her feel inadequate". This works whether your partner is a man or a woman. While one is free to fantasyze about any hottie whatsoever, there is no reason to tell our chubby, or balding, or less-than perfect, but lovable man that you are fantasyzing about someone who is so much more good looking than him.
The same works for men. There is no good reason to tell their less-than-perfect GF or wives about fantasyzing to have a threesome with hotties from a TV show. While fantasies are OK, they should stay what they are: fantasies. I don't remember reading any advice encouraging men to declare their sexual fantasies about Britney and meanhile telling women to shut up about their fantasies with George Clooney. What this is about is respect and thoughtfulness, and last time I checked it goes both way. Men have no business insulting their GF as soon as they gain some weight. And if they do, they deserve to be dumped RIGHT AWAY, no questions asked. At the same time, women should not make their men feel like they such just because they don't have Brad Pitt's implausibly ripped abs. Not everybody can spend hours with a personal trainers, and not everybody has a personal chef to cook diet food.
Just MHO.