Doubts

Avatar for travkitty
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2003
Doubts
2
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 1:06pm
Okay, a little background. Clayton & I just celebrated 1 1/2 years together. He's smart, handsome, romantic, sweet & my family loves him. I love him, though it's not the most passionate relationship. In fact, one would say he's perfect.

However, I'm having doubts about our compatibility. I'm a gypsy, he's a status quo kind of guy, but the biggest thing is that he's a born again Christian & I'm not very religious at all. This wasn't an issue at all until recently. I'm faced with the possibility of moving out of state for a job. The problem is that we're not ready to move in together, let alone move together out of state. When we talked about this possibility, he said we should pray to God for guidance on how to proceed if this happens. Well, this frustrated me. I can't say why, but that's how I felt.

I just have this nagging feeling that maybe he'd be better off with another born-again Christian. It's not that I don't believe in God. I do. I was raised Roman catholic, went to Catholic school, but I prefer to be private with my spirituality, while he loves getting neck deep in church activities & bearing witness to others & stuff like that. He always said that it didn't matter to him if I wanted to be involved with his church. I feel bad, though, when he asks if I want to come to this or that at church, & I just don't feel comfortable in those situations.

We're compatible in so many others ways. The big thing is that I cannot have children, nor do I wish to adopt. I'm just not a motherly person. He doesn't want kids either. It's been VERY hard to find someone who feels this way. However, the religious issue is starting to put doubts into my mind.

Any thoughts? Advice?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
In reply to: travkitty
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 2:11pm
You are right to question a future with different spiritual/religious values. It will come into play over and over again, especially when you have to decide where to get married, how to raise children.

Sorry you have to go through this.


Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
In reply to: travkitty
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 2:21pm
I myself am a born again Christian too. This being so... we take pride in expressing our love for God and we want others to share in that too (re: the witnessing). It is our goal to tell others about the joy of being a good Christian and to aid in leading as many people to God as possible, we get great joy out of this. It is normal for us to want to include God in our everyday lives, through prayrer or professing our faith, etc. This is our way of life. If we have burdons or if our family or friends (or anyone else for that matter) have problems we pray for them and/or with them. We know that with faith in God, He will guide us through anything. Him being a Christian, this is his way of life too. It is your choice weather you partake in his faith and religion but also know it comes as a whole package. If you stay with him you have to accept that this is the way he is and he is very happy and proud of it. Him wanting to pray about it is the way he is and it will not change. The more knowledgeable he becomes through the study of the Bible and through church the more storng his faith will become and the more he will witness and profess his faith and talk about the joys of being a Christian, etc. Again, this is the whole pagkage and I'm afraid you can't change it (although I didn't get the feeling that you were trying to). I hate to say it but "take it or leave it". I wish you luck and God Bless you. sweetnopichick