doubts after being together for a year

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2007
doubts after being together for a year
6
Fri, 03-09-2007 - 6:54pm

I am almost 21 and my boyfriend is 23. we've been together for almost a year and we love each other very much.

but recently i have been feeling confused. our sex life is usually really good but a few days ago I didnt want to have sex with him cos i just didnt feel like it. as he is a sensitive soul, he got really paranoid that i was going off him. it took a while to convince him otherwise and we sorted it out but the whole argument made me feel weird about everything. i dont have any real desire to see him at the moment, i just feel dead.

he is my second boyfriend and this is the 2nd longest relationship i've had. my last relationship deteriorated because i "went off" the guy. I was 17 so i put it down to being young.

i realise i'm still young but i really love this guy that i am with right now and i dont want to upset him. why do i feel like this all of a sudden?

help! please!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Mon, 03-12-2007 - 2:38pm

It sounds like maybe the relationship is in a rut right now.


What is "going off"? Does that mean cheating?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 03-12-2007 - 2:46pm

Hi stefyo,


Maybe you just haven't met the right guy, or maybe you'd rather 'date' around and see some of the world and what life has to offer.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2002
Mon, 03-12-2007 - 4:59pm
going off = losing interest
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Mon, 03-12-2007 - 5:03pm

Oh, thanks. I never would have guessed that. How did you know?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2002
Mon, 03-12-2007 - 5:31pm
Lived in England for 7 years.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Tue, 03-13-2007 - 2:30am

We use the phrase here in Australia too.

As well as "going off" a person, you can also "go off" just about anything else.

For example, I'm going off wearing flared jeans because they are going out of fashion. I've gone off BBQing octopus because I can't figure out how to get it tender enough. Though if I find the secret to tenderising it, I will cook it again ;-)

Fish/meat can go off too. At two days it's going off and at four days it's gone off.




Edited 3/13/2007 4:53 am ET by iv_aisha2004
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