Downhill fast - need advice!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2007
Downhill fast - need advice!
5
Wed, 06-22-2011 - 11:40am

I would appreciate some advice on how to best proceed.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2002
Wed, 06-22-2011 - 12:38pm

What you described is an abusive spouse, you will never find peace with him.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2009
Wed, 06-22-2011 - 12:39pm
It would be nice if you break up your post into paragrahs as its difficult to read like this.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Wed, 06-22-2011 - 12:51pm

I'm sorry, but I have to ask.......WHY is divorce not an option?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 06-22-2011 - 6:28pm
javaluvr wrote:

I would appreciate some advice on how to best proceed.

Avatar for khatru1
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2004
Thu, 06-23-2011 - 9:38am

Of course divorce is an option. If it isn't, then you have no leverage with him and he can do whatever he wants to you, which it looks like he is doing already. If you won't divorce him no matter what then what motivation does he have to change? He seems perfectly happy with his life so its doubtful he will ever want to divorce you, he gets to come home to a prepared meal and a clean house, and he can do whatever he wants. He has gotten accustomed to walking all over you and its time for you to put a quick stop to that. You might be suprised how quickly his behaviors may change after you start showing some spine and give him an ultimatum.

You are miserable with him. Do you really want to live the rest of your life this way? I'm guessing not. Do you think he is going to change on his own? Again probably not. You can talk to him and complain all you want but if you don't back it up with real consequences for him, then its empty rhetoric. He knows he can ignore you because its always worked in the past and you just back down. It's time to call his bluff.