Dumped

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2007
Dumped
8
Thu, 01-17-2008 - 12:10am

I just recently started dating someone I met in school, and after what happened with my last boyfriend it was nearly impossible to get involved with someone else. But we got together back in the middle of December and

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2006
In reply to: cece1012003
Thu, 01-17-2008 - 10:44am

Cece, I'm so sorry you have to go through this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
In reply to: cece1012003
Thu, 01-17-2008 - 11:34am

Cece,


I am sorry you having to deal with this again. My advice to you is to seek some individual counseling to help you work through this feelings. You have to stop blaming yourself for these breakups.

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Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: cece1012003
Thu, 01-17-2008 - 2:26pm

If you have repetetive problems in relationships with guys, it is wise to seek some professional counseling and find out what's going on? You are running a pattern, and patterns do tend to repeat. When you take time out to examine your true feelings about yourself, relationships and men, this is the way you take steam out of you unconscious behavior and begin to take charge of your life. When there is fear of closeness, low self esteem or the expectation of being rejected, then we attract the kind of person who will do exactly that. It's important to take charge of your own inner life and expectations, and then it is much easier to move forward with guys in a healthy, happy way.


Go look within and find out what's really in the way.


Best wishes,

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2008
In reply to: cece1012003
Thu, 01-17-2008 - 5:53pm

if you met this person at school can I assume that u r a teenager?


its never nice to be dumped, especially if the reason was something that hadn't occurred to

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2007
In reply to: cece1012003
Fri, 01-18-2008 - 12:10am

No, I'm not a teenager anymore. I go to technical school and I met him in psychology class. As for counseling from so-called professionals, they are nothing but strangers to me. I really don't like people who think they know me better than me because of the books they've read. Secondly,

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2006
In reply to: cece1012003
Fri, 01-18-2008 - 2:49pm

Cece,

Jilly

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2006
In reply to: cece1012003
Fri, 01-18-2008 - 3:19pm

"Not forgetting every time this happens they always tell me to take care of me before I get involved with someone. I am so sick of that!"


This really stood out to me.

~Kristi

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2007
In reply to: cece1012003
Sat, 01-19-2008 - 10:41am

oh, honey-I feel for you-you are kicking yourself when you're down. Please don't do that! There is nothing wrong with you. This is not about you.

You DO need to take care of yourself before having a relationship. You need to think very hard and clearly about what it is that you want.

Relationships can certainly die when there is no time for each other. That doesn't mean that either of you did anything wrong. Sometimes the timing is just off. Or maybe there are other things going on in this man's life that makes him feel badly he can't be there for you.

It doesn't mean you're defective.

You will be rejected in this life. We all will be. It is a fact of life that the first man you meet will not necessarily be the one-the soulmate you were meant to be with the rest of your life. Relationships will come and go. Trust me. I'm 40--I know. I was with my first serious bf for 8 yrs, then met my ex-husband. We were together for 12 yrs. And I have had serious and not so serious relationships since then. I do not think that because they didn't work out, that I'm defective. I made a lot of mistakes...the men I was with did, too...we're human. The point is to try to find some happiness in the moment and hopefully learn enough along the way as you keep making mistakes, so that you can eventually find the right person to spend the rest of your life with.

Best of luck to you.