during sex.. HELP

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2007
during sex.. HELP
4
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 2:46pm

me & my boyfriend of 2 years..are experiancing an issue thats been going on lately. (past 4 times weve had sex) during sex..its just boring after he cant get "it" up anymore. (in the beginning) sex is great & he`s rock hard and we enjoy it together. im usually ALWAYS on top. and we do good about switching into diff. positions together. but when i am on top (after about 10-15 mins of sex) and he pulls out he gets soft very very quickly. i dont even think he has an orgasm unless he does and i not know it. then he just gets tired, lazy & gets an attitude with me. when im 100% aroused and ready for another round.. so its like.. boring (im laying there waiting for him) and he doesnt move. then all i want to do is get up and leave, but at the same time i dont because i love him..but he wont tell me anything thats wrong he just shows it..but then once im ready to leave he grabs me & kisses me and tells me he loves me & doesnt want me to leave.. im like.. "what?" i dont understand him. sounds like more other issues huh...? but im mostly concerned about our sex life thats making me want to not have sex with him anymore, or 'cheat' i dont want too.. i really dont & never have but i have needs and ive never had an orgasm or really a good outcome of sex with him.
its so hard...& i love him very very very much.

what should i do..say???

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2006
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 6:57pm
Go to the sex board for the answers. We discuss relationships. good luck
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Fri, 06-29-2007 - 12:33am

Stormi_love, you're not the first to post a sex question here and you won't be the last. The sex boards can be helpful, but posters here can be too. And I'm happy to try and help you.

>>i dont even think he has an orgasm unless he does and i not know it.<<

This sentence indicates that you haven't talked to him about the problem. You really do need to find out whether or not he is reaching orgasm. While most men are obvious, there are some men who 'sneak' them out.

>>then he just gets tired, lazy & gets an attitude with me<<

How does he get an "attitude"? What does he say/do?

I'm also wondering how often you are having sex. If you're doing it very frequently, this could be the reason he is suffering from erectile dysfunction. Or perhaps he masturbates daily? This would impact on your sex life too.

I am hoping for some more details from you, but in the meantime, you need to talk to him about this. Don't raise the subject while you're in the bedroom - instead, choose a time when neither of you is seeking sex. Before you mention what you need, start by asking questions and understanding what's currently happening (or not happening). Find out how he feels.

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Fri, 06-29-2007 - 1:35pm

Welcome to the board stormi_love,


Something is going on with him and he's not sharing exactly what that is....even if you were asking a direct question, I'm not sure he would answer it.


You might want to also post on


Let's Talk about Sex


for some more ideas.


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Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 06-29-2007 - 1:55pm

Clearly your boyfriend as a sexual problem and it has not been dealt with. Pretending all if fine, brushing it under the rug won't work, and will eventually destroy the relationship. Talk this over. Get it out in the open. He needs some sex therapy, to find out what's going on. And if he isn't hard and you aren't satisfied, there are other things that can be done to satisfy you. It's unkind to leave you hanging and just pull out (emotionally as well as physically). Ultimately, this is not good for you physically, mentally or emotionally. Unless you both can work this through, this is not a healthy situation for you to stay in.


Take care and all the best,