This is dynamite just waiting to go off
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This is dynamite just waiting to go off
| Wed, 12-26-2007 - 9:47am |
I am coming here with something that I presume is probably a common problem: my boyfriend's mother who has done a fine job of spoiling my boyfriend to death.

I don't think you're crazy - as a self-sufficient woman myself, it would bother me if my boyfriend was still tied to the apron strings of his mother.
How long have you been together and how is your counseling going? I think an important question to ask yourself is, if you eventually marry this guy, will you want to live with his family the way they are? There are a couple of posts from women on these boards with family-in-law situations that make me want to cry just reading them. Sure a marriage is ideally between two people, but when you marry someone, you marry their family and the life they come with. Your boyfriend doesn't see anything wrong with his family dynamic because that's the way he grew up. You don't have any right to tell him that the way their family works is wrong, and in fact you will drive him further away if you try. If this is going to bother you, make sure you realize that full well. You need to be with someone whose life and family you can embrace (or at least endure). It's not romantic but it's realistic. The fact is that you're not going to change his family or how he relates to them. You can accept it or walk away.
Welcome to the board ravegods,
I think before you starting getting mad at his mom for helping him out you need to make sure this is going to be a reoccuring thing. If it does, than start talking to him about it. Of course he is going to be mad if you complain about this the first time she does it.
Though I can understand your worrying. I would just make sure it IS going to be an issue before you make it one.
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