Emotionally Broken

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2008
Emotionally Broken
12
Thu, 10-09-2008 - 10:19am

After being out all night (happened before) my boyfriend

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Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 10-10-2008 - 4:10pm

You should think carefully about why you gave up someone you loved so much who was so good for you. Some people cannot allow goodness and health into their life. They find some reason to sabotage something they have longed for a long while.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2008
Fri, 10-10-2008 - 6:42pm

I have to say that staying together for the sake of the kids and the family is a great thing, DEPENDING ON THE PROBLEMS TO BE WORKED OUT, but it isn't always the best thing. Many couples are too quick to get divorced when there are children in the equation. And if there is mutual trust, honesty, love and commitment then that is an environment in which a relationship can and should be worked on.

Having said that, there are many other instances in which moving on is not only best for the adults, but for the children too. Staying together for the sake of family/kids is not always good, especially if there is emotional or physical abuse, continued unfaithfulness in a pattern, lack of respect, etc. You need to ask yourself what kind of example and model you are setting your kids up for, in their relationships as adults? What are you teaching your son about how a man treats a woman, or a daughter about self respect?

Kids deserve an intact family, but they also deserve healthiness and a good role model for marriage. I can't imagine that you leaving this unfaithful, loveless relationship to seek happiness and a healthy relationship is worse for your kids than the current situation. I would advise you to think long and hard about continuing what sounds like a loveless, painful, miserable "family life" just for your kids. They might be better off with a happier mom and in a healthier environment.

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