Emotionally Over It All
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Emotionally Over It All
| Mon, 07-26-2004 - 12:15am |
I have been in relationship for 14 years, 10 he did not do anything but drink and party. We have 2 great boys who are now 10 & 8 and adore their dad because I have sheltered them from him. Four years ago I reached my "bitter end", I was numb, completely over everything he's put me thru. He straightened up and stopped the drunking (notice he still drinks not drunks) and finally began working again. He begged me to work it out and I swore I would keep trying. The problem is that I can't forget. Everytime he kisses me I pull away from years of booze breath, sex is dreaded and I truly am miserable with him. He is mean in his remarks and feels he's the hero because he now works, although we work together my work doesn't count. Everything we have is because I wanted to provide for my boys, not even the utilities are in his name. He said my wants were outrageous, house, furniture, etc. Now when I get to wits end he says he'll take OUR business and I'll have to struggle to survive. (which is true financially, it is all in my name alone) I am actually wishing and dreaming that he would just go away, it would be easier than a bitter break up and the boys suffering. I hate being with him even though I present a nice family home and my boys deserve the best. I have lived miserable for 14 years trying to help him when I can't change him and I don't like who he is...

Reading material to consider as well:
Till Death Do Us Part (Unless I Kill You First) A Step-by-Step Guide to Marital Conflicts, Jamie Turndorf
Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman
Relationship Rescue by Phil McGraw
Carrie