emotionally unstable ..will we make it?
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emotionally unstable ..will we make it?
| Tue, 12-04-2007 - 5:53pm |
im with an emotionally unstable guy. our "thing" started 7 months ago. he studies abroad i went to visit him a month after we've been together,after that i left my country to study there too. even though we were not in the same cities, we visited each other and kept in close touch. his messages and the way he talks were sometimes really intimate and genuine and at other times he made me feel like i was talking to a stranger.
He is considered the 'funny' guy among his friends but inside he's a completely different person. he has temper issues, he is sometimes very insecure and sometimes he acts almost narcissistic. he rarely ever compliments me. im in love him. i have been in love with him for a long time. when he is on mood modifying drugs he says that he loves me, or tht he misses me or that we should go on a vacation, when he is not he never mentions anything like that. all he does is complain about his life. . when its good day he makes me feel like a queen, but at other times he goes to the extremes like completely ignoring me when im in the room.
i cant tell if we are in a relationship or not. because we are in different cities, never talked about it. All i know is that we keep in touch, when we are together we have a great sex life, he says he likes talking to me because i listen to him rather than lecturing him w/o listening .
i went to visit him last weekend it was horrible.. he made jokes that hurt me so bad that when i was laying next to him i cried but he didnt see it. . i have borderline personality disorder and being with him makes me even more unstable.. but as i said on a good day i dont think i can be any happier. its just he doesnt give me the impression that i can count on him , or lean on him when i need to. . i know i'll survive w/o him.. but i just dont want to. even though he is capable of hurting me more than anybody... he is just sometimes really open and i feel like i can talk to him about anything , at other times he is closed in his box. i know he has been hurt and backstabbed but i dont think i should pay the price of what others did. its just not fair. it has been 7 months now and we havent moved one bit forward , or backwards we are still at where we started.. or at least that how it feels like to me.
i want to talk to him and say that im in love with him and that he was sending me mixed messages but im scared because i feel like i cant trust my own judgement on this.. do you think we can make it as a couple?
He is considered the 'funny' guy among his friends but inside he's a completely different person. he has temper issues, he is sometimes very insecure and sometimes he acts almost narcissistic. he rarely ever compliments me. im in love him. i have been in love with him for a long time. when he is on mood modifying drugs he says that he loves me, or tht he misses me or that we should go on a vacation, when he is not he never mentions anything like that. all he does is complain about his life. . when its good day he makes me feel like a queen, but at other times he goes to the extremes like completely ignoring me when im in the room.
i cant tell if we are in a relationship or not. because we are in different cities, never talked about it. All i know is that we keep in touch, when we are together we have a great sex life, he says he likes talking to me because i listen to him rather than lecturing him w/o listening .
i went to visit him last weekend it was horrible.. he made jokes that hurt me so bad that when i was laying next to him i cried but he didnt see it. . i have borderline personality disorder and being with him makes me even more unstable.. but as i said on a good day i dont think i can be any happier. its just he doesnt give me the impression that i can count on him , or lean on him when i need to. . i know i'll survive w/o him.. but i just dont want to. even though he is capable of hurting me more than anybody... he is just sometimes really open and i feel like i can talk to him about anything , at other times he is closed in his box. i know he has been hurt and backstabbed but i dont think i should pay the price of what others did. its just not fair. it has been 7 months now and we havent moved one bit forward , or backwards we are still at where we started.. or at least that how it feels like to me.
i want to talk to him and say that im in love with him and that he was sending me mixed messages but im scared because i feel like i cant trust my own judgement on this.. do you think we can make it as a couple?

Welcome to the board alizeongul,
Are either of you in therapy?
Is he the type of man you've always envisioned yourself with as a lifelong partner? If not, maybe you should let him go and look for the right guy for you.
You say that he is emotionally unstable and that you have borderline personality disorder. I'm sorry, but even when both partners have no emotional or mental health issues, the chances of making it are only 50/50.
In your situation, the chances are very much lower, especially