Emotions???

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2008
Emotions???
6
Thu, 10-09-2008 - 12:41pm

Here is the info...caught husband cheating about a year ago. He tried to get me to come back for nine months. About a month after the divorce was final, I realized I was still in love with him. I want him more than anything. We moved back in together On Sunday. we have two boys 2.5 and 5 yrs old. Today he told me that he was unsure if he was happy and comfortable, or unhappy. He wonders if there should be a spark. I don't have the queasy stomach or anything, but i know I love him and want to be with him. He says he knows he loves me and wants to be with me but is unsure if he is in love with me.

I am hurt and scared that he is going to give up on our relationship. My question is...how are two people who previously lived together for 7 years supposed to feel when they begin to live together again. Should there be the anticipation of a new relationship, or what. I just do not want to go through the hurt again. I thought when I moved in it would be forever.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Thu, 10-09-2008 - 1:43pm

Welcome to the board dazedandconfused2008,


Most couples cannot overcome betrayal and rebuild trust without counseling. Is it an option?


Reading material to consider:


Getting the Love You Want, Harville Hendrix
Relationship Rescue, Phil McGraw
Five Love Languages, Gary Chapman.


marriagebuilders.com offers some guidelines and this other iVillage board might have some good input for you: After the Affair


Being spontaneous, flirting, being upbeat and kind to each other goes a long way to rekindling feelings.






angels

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2008
Thu, 10-09-2008 - 1:46pm
You have to understand that the feelings that come along with a new relationship are not going to just come if you break up and then go back to
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2008
Thu, 10-09-2008 - 2:43pm
Thank you for your timely response. I will definitely check out the readings.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2008
Thu, 10-09-2008 - 2:45pm
Thank you for your timely response. I feel exactly the way you do. I knew that there was not going to be that new relationship feeling, but he seems to thing that there should be. I am going to show him your post, and maybe he will see that point of view.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2008
Thu, 10-09-2008 - 2:55pm

Again, i wish you a lot of luck and let me know how it goes!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2008
Thu, 10-09-2008 - 6:07pm
I would think that unless the two of you dealt with the issues that created the breakup and was his excuse for cheating..you will be right back to where you started.