Engaged and now friends!!!!! HELP

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2007
Engaged and now friends!!!!! HELP
4
Fri, 01-18-2008 - 3:53pm

Hello,


I have a big problem and i dont know how to deal with it. Please help. I dont know where to even start.


I have known my man for 9 years now. We have been best friends since middle school. We started to seriously date 5 years ago. April 13th will be our 5 year. He proposed to me a year ago. We lived with each other for about a year and he said that we needed to have a break because I was suffocating him. So i moved back to my parents house and he did also. We shortly got back together about a week later. NOW we have been together for about a year since. For the past couple of weeks he was acting a little weird. He told me four days ago that he feels that i am suffocating him again and wants a break. I went from being his fiancee to being friends in a matter of days. I do understand where he comes from with the suffocating and not letting him have "his time" to hang out with the guys. I do trust him that is not the problem. I dotn know what to do. I want to give him his week to think about what he wants but i cant stoip thinking about him. I get so lonely and want to call him. Sometimes he doesnt answer my calls or texts. Other times he does. When he does he sound like he wants nothing to do with me. I want to give him his space to show him that i can do things on my own and i can do what he asks. But on the other hand i am SO hurt. I want to fight for our relationship. I LOVE HIM!!!! I dont know what to do. I dont know what to say to him. I love him and I want to be with him. WHat can i say and do to get him back?


Please help!!!


Thank you

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Fri, 01-18-2008 - 5:09pm

Welcome to the board Tina,


I think the best thing you can do right now is give him his space. Don't call him. Let him be the one the call you. I know that is hard, but that is what he wants and that is the best thing you can do right now.


Sorry you have to go through this.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2004
Fri, 01-18-2008 - 5:20pm

You shouldn't do or say anything, but rather leave

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2007
Fri, 01-18-2008 - 6:11pm
I don't want to sound harsh, but when someone is telling you they need space and won't answer your calls or texts (or when they do, they sound annoyed), the worst thing you could possibly do is to keep pursuing them. I understand you love this person, but cooler heads need to prevail in this situation. Your options are either to attempt to pick yourself up and start, as the other poster suggested, putting your energy into other areas, or you can keep calling and pestering someone who obviously doesn't feel the same way that you do about him. If you do the latter, you'll be settling.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sat, 01-19-2008 - 1:14am

Welcome to the board tina13s,


Here's something that might help you:


When he asks for space (aka, "a break")