engaged..but on different educated level

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
engaged..but on different educated level
2
Sun, 06-10-2007 - 5:49pm

Hi,

I am engaged to be married next year in May of 2008. I love my fiancee with all my heart and we have been together for 3 years now. I only have one little "problem" that I don't know why it bothers me a little. At first it used to bother me alot, but it has gotten better.

You see I am an educated woman, who is working on her master's. My fiance has few college hours which are mostly for mechanic work. Sometimes deep down, I wonder why I am not with someone on my level. That I can do better and be with a college-educated man. I mean Mike is such a great guy. He treats me like a queen, goes to church every Sunday, doesn't smoke, has great credit and is not a heavy drinker. He also supports me in everything I do, let's me go out with my friends, changes the oil in my car, I could go on and on. He is terrific. I guess what I want, is to stop thinking the way I do. Not to be jealous of friends who won't have to work, becuase their husbands earn enough for both of them or to be jealous that they have a really nice home due to their incomes. I know I will be the one who will earn the most, but why do I feel this way sometime??? Why can'I just be happy with what I got?? Any advice would be great

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Sun, 06-10-2007 - 8:36pm

My husband is more educated than I and can easily earn 4X what I do. However, he does not feel or act more superior than I. This is largely helped because we have similar intelligence levels. While he is more educated, we can still match wits. He also appreciates that I have common sense...a trait which no amount of education can build.

With this in mind, does your fiance have a similar IQ to you? Perhaps your discontent comes from him not being able to match wits with you? Perhaps you get annoyed because he cannot use punctuation or his grammer is all wrong? (this would drive me nuts!)

Why work on your masters if you eventually want to be a SAHM? I would have thought that if your education was so important, then career would be equally important. I know you like the idea of being a SAHM, but would you really be content in this role? Can you truly see yourself in the PTA? I wonder if you'd find yourself going crazy after a few years. Perhaps your fiance would be better suited to the role of SAHD.

You mention wanting a life in a beautiful house like your friends. Do you realise that consumerism such as this can't buy happiness? Give me a modest home and a happy marriage any day! Some of my friends live in McMansions, but those beautiful homes with beautiful furniture are completely devoid of character and heart.

But if you really want to stay home with the kids one day, then save now while you're working. Buy a modest home which won't require massive mortgage repayments. And when the kids are older, go back to some part time work to suppliment your income.

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 12:08pm

Welcome to the board raquel75_99,


I don't think I will be of much help to you. My fiance and I have different levels of education. I have a college degree and he attended vo-tech. However, he makes more than twice my salary. We get along great and I couldn't be happier with our relationship. I think we tend to be on the same level