Erotic stories to another man
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Erotic stories to another man
| Wed, 11-19-2003 - 5:38pm |
Earlier this year I wrote very erotic stories to another man. My husband found out and says this is a form of cheating even though me and the other man have never had
intercourse. I am still writing the stories and giving them to the other guy.
I'm not saying this is right what I have done but it seems different than the conventional cheating.
intercourse. I am still writing the stories and giving them to the other guy.
I'm not saying this is right what I have done but it seems different than the conventional cheating.

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But many people are adding more gray to that definition by identifying nonphysical ways of being unfaithful — such as forming attachments that rob a spouse of emotional intimacy.
An "emotional affair" can be as damaging as a sexual affair, because an emotional connection is what people really want. An "emotional affair" tends to involve sexual attraction — even if not acted on — and secrecy on the part of a married participant.
If you are skimming off the aspects of your inner life (in your case, writing erotic stories to another man)... and reserving them for your "friend," you are cheating your spouse of intimacy.
Fidelity is about maintaining appropriate boundaries. Your husband may feel you have crossed those boundries.
Carrie
Truthfully, I'd be hurt, crushed, sick, upset, in turmoil, I'd want to kill him, I'd be furious, I'd probably vomit, cry, break plates.....
That said, I have a wonderful man whos values, character, morals and honor I fully appreciate, so I am 100% sure that this would never happen. He's a great man.
Carrie
I certainly hope there are no children involved.
And yes there is control when feelings take over. That is what separates humans from the other animals.
Sarah
You say the guy you write to is also married, how sad for his wife, espeically if she doesn't know about what's been written and given to her husband. I'm sure she would think it was inappropriate to and feel betrayed. Affairs, even those of the heart, hurt far more people then just the two that make the decision to continue contact, flirt, act inappropriately or even jump into bed together.
I suggest you post on the My Affair Support board under Infidelity here at ivillage.
Carrie
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