Ever wait for the bottom to fall out?
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Ever wait for the bottom to fall out?
| Sun, 10-28-2007 - 8:46pm |
Do you ever wait for the bottom to fall out of your relationship?
| Sun, 10-28-2007 - 8:46pm |
Do you ever wait for the bottom to fall out of your relationship?
I absolutely
Welcome to the board lovergrl18,
There is a risk of getting hurt in every relationship. But if you go into the relationship thinking you are going to get hurt, then you will start to over analyze everything and you will end up getting hurt. If you trust your bf, than try to relax and have a good time. There are no guarantees in life, however, not all relationships end badly. Have hope.
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Lovergrl18,
Here's your previous posts:
I need some guidance/advice
Need advice about getting back together
What do you think?
Insecurity
Couples that do the work to rebuild trust and heal the betrayal don't post here.
You shouldn't go into a relationship expecting the worst. You're supposed to be excited about one another. If you can't truly get beyond this "too good to be true" feeling of yours, then why are you with him? Why don't you find someone else who hasn't hurt you in the past?
Maybe being on these boards is a bad idea for you. We tend to have a pessimistic view of a lot of relationships, because looking at things objectively, we have to say to ourselves "he hurt you once and can do it again". We're not in love with the guy you are in love with; you tell us your problems and we look at what's wrong and if it's worth fixing. Most of the women who come here and post about their relationship problems will not spend the rest of their lives with that guy, that's just how it works. To be VERY blunt, this board is usually for supporting other women in making the right decision and that decision is usually to leave a failing relationship.
If you want to be more optimistic about your relationship then I hate to say it (because we like having people here!) but you should stop listening to what other people think and stop posting to boards where women will give you a negative perspective. This board is more for couples that are having problems, not women who want assurance that they're with the right guy. I agree that Life After Betrayal would be a better board, but really I think you're putting too much pressure on your relationship by posting so much about it. Give him a chance, go offline and spend quality time together! Good luck.
Words of wisdom, thank you
You're right, I come on the boards and I do end up feeling like this will never work. I come on everyday and read.....most of the time I don't post and most of the time i feel fine. But some days, I read problems and responses and it comes over me- probably dependent on my mood.
I so much appreciated and got hooked on these boards in the spring and I guess its hard to move away. But it probably is the best thing for me to move forward, and be thankful that things ended up working out for us.
Thanks to everyone!
It's not true that he will "screw you over again". That kind of thinking comes from bitterness and distrust. It's not something that will necessarily happen again. People make mistakes and learn from them. People can be trusted, especially if quite a bit of time has passed and they still want to be with you. You must remember that he was 18 and that is a very young age to be completely monogomous. Usually at that age, young people experiment and date many.
If you project mistrust into a relationship, you will create a negative situation and almost inadvertently push him to do something you would not like. Yes, it is a risk to trust. But it is a risk for everyone. In all relationships the shoe could drop at any time. If we all went along constantly waiting for it, or believing in that, there would never be any happy days or healthy situations. Enjoy what you have now. The more the relationship works for both of you, the more loving, open, honest and caring you both are, the less need he will have to go to someone else. Make an agreement with him that if he is having feelings of upset in the relationship, or wanting to go elsewhere, he will talk to you about it first....things will either get worked out, or the two of you will end the relationship before something happens. That is fair. That is all you can expect or hope for from any relationship. Don't listen to the negative voices. Go forward with trust. (That will make "you" happiest and healthiest, no matter what else).
Best wishes,
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