like everyone looking for advice-please!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2001
like everyone looking for advice-please!
8
Sat, 10-01-2011 - 2:22pm

Hello everyone, I am wondering what to do about a relationship and a i felt this was a safe place. I have dated a man i went to high school with since january. He has a history of drug abuse gotten himself back in trouble in jail. Has had a revoke license for 10 years, now became abusive and I had to call his parole officer today and have him removed from my home. Part of me feels guilty and upset, as well as lonely and ashamed. I am not sure what to do say or where to start picking up the pieces.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2005
Sat, 10-01-2011 - 2:32pm

I can't tell you how to feel, I certainly understand some of your feeling, but I just remember he knew his situation when he decided to get abusive.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2001
Sat, 10-01-2011 - 2:50pm

thank you for your response, I am devastated, just completely upset, I gave him everything I could to help but not enable him. I don't understand. I know it was the right thing. What set it off is has been taking this suboxone crap which makes him bi polar. then he mixed something with that and took my motorcyle illegally till 3:30 am. No apology he told me to get over it. UGH why do I care??

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2005
Sat, 10-01-2011 - 3:01pm

Normal people care, that's why.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2001
Sat, 10-01-2011 - 3:38pm

thank you for all your positive words, I have been up all night, this kind of hit me like a strong wind out of nowhere. I hope everything with your situation works as well. Not many men post here

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Sat, 10-01-2011 - 5:28pm

Actually "good" people DO find each other!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2001
Sat, 10-01-2011 - 6:12pm

thank you, but didn't you go through this grief when you separated? I suppose it's normal. What you are saying is very encouraging, I hate to hear others go through this but at the same time I hate being alone in it all.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Sat, 10-01-2011 - 11:52pm

No, I went thru enough grief when I was with him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2001
Sun, 10-02-2011 - 2:33pm

Yes, in many ways i am relieved. I teach and coach, and the stress from that and him it's one less thing to worry about. He did contribute financially to the household bills, so for a bit I am going to be tight with cash. But other than the "man jobs" like the roof etc. I am perfectly capable of handling. All minscule stuff compared to a better life without the "bum" just a shocker in many ways as he was doing so well staying clean for so long and it seemed he was becoming more than just a bum. He never cheated, but yeah idiot get your license back, and get off the crap! You would think people want more for themselves. I thought he did which was what kept me there. Yeah dumb i see that.