The ex is back!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2008
The ex is back!
5
Fri, 11-07-2008 - 1:53am
I have been in a really nice relationship for almost two years now. A few weekends ago, he received a phone call from his ex. I was in the room and they had a very cryptic conversation. I asked him what prompted her to call and he said he didn't know. I told him that it sounded like there had been some previous discussion and it definitely sounded like they would need to talk again. I asked him if he does, to please just be honest and tell me about it. That way, I won't feel I have to worry... if he's not hiding it from me, I would feel it is okay. It's now been several weeks and not a word. I brought up an indirect conversation about how sometimes it's not the action that gets you in trouble, it's hiding it. He agreed with me. I then asked him outright if he had communicated with her since the phone call. He said no and that he doesn't intend to. Judging from their conversation I had overheard, this just isn't normal. In the meantime he is telling me he loves me and can't live without me. I know he has been talking to her.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2008
Fri, 11-07-2008 - 11:54am

Would he be willing to change his phone number so that she gets the hint that things are over?

Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 11-07-2008 - 12:40pm

Firstly, how do you "know" he's been talking to her. You may suspect it, but you don't know for sure.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2008
Tue, 11-11-2008 - 11:23am

Dr. Shoshana, it has been my experience that my instincts are pretty good. I did get a glimpse of his email (just the inbox list) and they have indeed been corresponding regularly.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 11-11-2008 - 2:31pm

Welcome to the board timetothink,


Since you know and you know he's lied and will continue to lie and your self-esteem is tearing away, well, only you know what you are willing to live with and what you want in

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2008
Tue, 11-11-2008 - 8:20pm

"He has told me he will always love her, probably because she is the one that got away. "


unrequited love -- red flag


"What I feel like is that he is only with me because he can't be with her. I feel that he loves me, but he will never love anyone as much as he loves her."


Never settle for second place - ifyou can help it. As we get older that first place status grows slim because of everyone's past.