Ex-Boyfriend & "The Wall"

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
Ex-Boyfriend & "The Wall"
1
Thu, 05-29-2003 - 6:18pm
I've been dating this girl for about seven months. We started dating after she cheated on her boyfriend with me. The 2nd time we had sex she became pregnant. Two months later she had a miscarriage. The miscarriage was tuff on our relationship, but we made it through. We are sometimes now finding ourselves planning a future together but there's one problem...She still feels an incredible amount of guilt for hurting her ex...She says she's built up a wall and hasn’t been able to let me all the way in...I don't know what else I can do for her...I don't know how to help her tear down her wall...need some advice.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Thu, 05-29-2003 - 8:44pm
First of all, why were you messing around with a woman in a relationship? Did you not know that she had a bf? And second, what makes you think that this woman is being faithful to you? When a woman says that she has built a wall and she is afraid to let you in, it means she has not totally committed herself to you and your relationship because of unresolved feelings (i.e. guilt), and there is nothing you can do to change that. Sorry to say, but she probably has one foot out the door and doesn't want to let you go until she's got another sucker on the line. She may respond favorably to you giving her space, but sooner or later she will get the urge to go. Once a cheater, always a cheater...she just hasn't been tempted yet.

April