ex is crazy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2007
ex is crazy
4
Mon, 03-26-2007 - 4:32pm
my friend is dating another close friend of my husbands...they met while she was breaking up with her old boyfriend...i didnt set them up they just met and it was instant attraction...eventually her and her ex broke up and he moved out..they was together for 4 yrs and also had his step brother living with them...well the problem is my friend and her new boyfriend have been dating for 5 months they really care for eachother and are with eachother all the time..but her ex wont leave her alone...its a lot better than it was in the beginning he was calling all the time showing up at her house calling her work and trying to cause problems she tried to get a protection order but the court said that since he never hurt her or tried to they couldnt give one..she went to another court and they said the same thing... well its 5 months later she has had her number changed 2 times and he still calls her at work but she answers the phone so all she does is says stop calling me and hangs up..he got everything out of the house but sometimes calls and says oh i forgot the toaster or something like that and she allows someone to come get it..they had 2 dogs that she luvs (no children but her dogs are her kids) he took one and then said he was unable to care for it and it was in her back yard after work one day well he has called once again and said he wants the dog back he has a new house...she has cut all ties to him including kicking out his step brother she doesnt know what to do but he keeps calling her for stupid things about every 2-3 wks...the problem is her new boyfriend feels she hasnt let go even though she has told him she hates him..and has said if he calls again they are over...any suggestions on what else she can do to get her ex away for good?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
In reply to: lacieh2001
Mon, 03-26-2007 - 4:46pm

Welcome to the board lacieh2001,


Where do you live, what state or country?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
In reply to: lacieh2001
Mon, 03-26-2007 - 4:49pm

Welcome to the lacieh2001,


Even though your friend can't get a protection from abuse order she should still be able to get a regular restraining order. Has she looked into this?

Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: lacieh2001
Mon, 03-26-2007 - 4:50pm

This ex boyfriend is trying to mess up her life and hang on in everyway possible. She should not respond to him at all or have any contact whatsoever. If he calls she should immediately hang up. He is actually harrassing her, and I'm surprised that she can't do something through the police station. That's too bad. I think that if he calls her 3 times and she keeps a record of it by pressing *57 after the call, she can file a police report. Let her check this out with the police station. Not an order or protection, but a police report. This may scare him off.

She needs to get the guy she is with to support and understand her in this. If she is not giving the ex any reason to keep in touch, not talking with him or subtly inviting him into her life, her present boyfriend needs to be understanding. If he is not, then ultimately, he isn't the right man for her. The right guy would understand her dilemma and even be protective. I hope this is helpful.

Best wishes,

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2007
In reply to: lacieh2001
Mon, 03-26-2007 - 8:22pm
she has went to court 2 times and they have police reports because the police have came to the house when he needed to get stuff so she called the cops to be there and the cops said it would be better to cut all ties which she did but then he ended up putting the dog in her yard without her knowing and she wasnt about to let the dog go somewhere else she has had it for awhile..she really cant afford to hire a lawyer and she really cant afford to keep taking off work cuz she is barely making it on her own and needs every penny she gets I see both sides to the situation...his where its been 5 months and he hasnt left her alone and hers that she doesnt know what to do to just keep him away