Ex-Fiance Emergency
Find a Conversation
| Sun, 01-04-2004 - 4:16pm |
Ok, my ex-fiance and I got together when I was around 15 or so and we dated until right before I turned 19. We were engaged to be married and we were having a long-distance relationship b/c of the fact that he joined the military. Well, he got a case of cold feet and said he couldn't marry me but I could move to be with him. It never got that far though, b/c the distance just kept ripping us apart. When we broke up (now 2 years ago) he told me that we would "see in 2 years" b/c we both knew we couldnt handle the distance.
He was supposed to get out of the army on Dec. 31st but b/c of the war he now may be in until May at the earliest, Dec. at the latest. I think this screwed us up big time b/c we had been chattin on the phone and online about seeing each other when he came home and I think we were both ready to try again EVEN though he has a gf out there. He said he was going to break up with her b/c he didn't want to bring her home with him.
So, he ends up coming home for Christmas and we lay eyes on each other for the first time in 1.5 years... I never expected to still feel anything for him, but as soon as I saw him I knew I still loved him. We were pretty much togetehr for 2 weeks straight. However, about midway through the time he started being weird and he wasn't talking much or being very cuddly with me.. and reminded me that he had a gf and things like that.
After talking to his sister (who wants us back together), I wrote him a letter about my feelings for him. I said that I didn't know where his gf stood but that I still loved him and that I thought I always would. I told him that I wouldn't sit around and wait for him.. but that I would try my best to keep my heart open for him so that if our paths crossed in the future that maybe we could have something again. After reading the letter, he instantly became very talkative with me and was loving on me like we were a couple.
I tried to talk to him about it, but he has ALWAYS been a man who can't talk about feelings. He would much rather run from them than deal with them. All I got out of him was that he didn't really know what to say and a ton of questions about whether or not I had told my most recent bf that I loved him. He also asked me if I ever thought of a life with him even though he is so far away and we havent seen each other in so long and then said how his dad's wedding ring looked good on his finger. lol He asked me why I would want to be with him and not with someone who had more to offer.. and then turned around and said that he thought we could be happy together though... He asked me what reminds me of him the most.. and if I thought I could take care of him..and be good to him. I answered all of these questions with nothing but love from him.. and not surprisingly didn't get anything in return.
I can deal with him not expressing himself, I've known him for 6 years and I can read him pretty well. It's just that now it's so much harder b/c I can't for the life of me get him to tell me anything. He just beats around the bush. I don't know if I should try to get him to talk now that's he gone back out there or if I should leave him alone. I just know in my heart that I still love him with everything in me and that I would be by his side in a heartbeat if it was his choice. He knows it too.
I brought up the subject with him that sometimes he makes me feel like he's using me or taking advantage of me b/c he will call me or ask me to do something and I'm right there doing it as soon as I can. He said that he hates that I feel that way and that he would never do that to me. He tried to say that he didn't believe that if he said jump I would say how high... but I know that he knows. I don't mind being that way with him... but I want it to be equal between us.
What I want advice on is this.... Does he still care? Does he want to be with me in the future? and How do I get him to talk?
How do I find out what this gf of his that he is always claiming to be on the verge of breaking up with and who he swears he wouldn't bring home when he moves home for good means to him?
How do I deal with the time that I have to make it through before he comes home... and dealing with the fact that he may be sent to Iraq???
Please help me...
Megan
