Ex GF too prominent in our relationship
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| Tue, 08-10-2004 - 5:42pm |
She's not an evil/psycho ex (atleast I haven't seen any signs YET, although her friends have told me she's a bit crazy), but she does things that I think are over the line. There are small things that bother me, like her using my boyfriend as her shipping address and sending all of her online purchases to his house, her borrowing my boyfriend's mom's pots (long after they had broken up), and her calling on the weekends just to ask him what he's doing. Initially, these things bothered me but I didn't want to overreact. But this past weekend, things got weird.
We went out to a birthday dinner/club, and she was there. She was trying really hard to be nice to me - asking how I was, whether I was done with school, even sticking the tag of my shirt back in for me when it stuck out - twice. This made me think that she wasn't so bad. BUT - later that night, she started calling my boyfriend by the pet name SHE used to call him when THEY were in a relationship. All throughout the night, it was "BB this", and "BB that", right in front of me!!! I found this to be rude and disrespectful to me as the current girlfriend. Her ride left her so she had to bum a ride home with us (even though her roommate was at the club too), and the whole time there was more calling my boyfriend "BB". After we dropped her off, I asked my boyfriend if "BB" was what she called him during their relationship, and all he said was, "That was a long time ago".
I don't think my discomfort with the whole situation stems from insecurity. I just don't like having the past stare me in the face all the time. I think I would be ok with her if she was a "friend" if she wasn't still so unneccessarily involved in my boyfriend's life. I've talked to my boyfriend about this, and he always says either "It was a long time ago" or "you have nothing to worry about". I asked him to tell her to change her shipping address, but he says he's just "helping her". I find it a bit unneccessary that she uses his address, given that her parents live within a couple blocks of her rented apartment.
So what I would like to hear your opinion on is am I overreacting, or is her behavior somewhat suspect? Should I talk to her and let her know that I don't appreciate some of her behaviors, since my boyfriend doesn't seem to be taking my feeings seriously?

I talked to a few of my male friends, and they suggested that she might be trying to situate herself to sabotage the relationship, or she wants to regain attention in his life by finding excuses to spend time or come into contact with him. I find this a bit too cynical, but you never know..
Edited 8/10/2004 11:15 pm ET ET by est1982