EX issues

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2007
EX issues
7
Sun, 11-25-2007 - 7:20pm
Needing some advice..hopefully someone can help me with this situation. My finance and I have been together for a year and a half. He is divorced with two children. I love his children and when they are with us for the 2 weeks out of the month that we have them i treat them as if they were my own. Im 24 my fiance is 31. I believe that i have taken on a great deal of responsiblity since we have been together. I have taken in his children and i have dealt with and understood the fact that he has an ex wife that we will have to deal with forever. which is fine, but i feel as if i dont get any respect from her. I understand that they have to communicate with each other because of the children, but sometimes she takes it too far. She wants to talk to him about "non-children" related topics and sometimes even asks him to go back to her. I feel like i cant be excited about our wedding and about being with him because of her. I feel like im sharing him with her. He would never go back to her or do anyting to hurt me, but all of this is reall starting to bother me. Any advice????
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
In reply to: noturaveragegrl
Mon, 11-26-2007 - 10:44am

Welcome to the board noturaveragegrl,


Does your fiance do anything that you consider crossing the line in regards to her? If not, than I don't think there is anything you can do. They will always have to be in contact with each other and there is nothing you can do to stop her from behaving this way.


I suppose you could confront her, but I don't think any good would come of it.


Sorry.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
In reply to: noturaveragegrl
Mon, 11-26-2007 - 1:24pm

Welcome to the board noturaveragegrl,


::He would never go back to her or do anyting to hurt me,


As long as he allows her to discuss non-children issues and even get the words out of her mouth that she wants him back, it's going to continue and you are going to continue to be hurt.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2006
In reply to: noturaveragegrl
Mon, 11-26-2007 - 2:33pm

'She wants to talk to him about "non-children" related topics and sometimes even asks him to go back to her'


Is he firm with her that that isn't going to happen. Does he set boundaries about what topics he wants to share with her?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2007
In reply to: noturaveragegrl
Mon, 11-26-2007 - 2:56pm
He tells her they are only to speak about the children and when he does she gets pissed off. She knows they will never get back together and he has informed her of this plenty of times.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2006
In reply to: noturaveragegrl
Mon, 11-26-2007 - 7:16pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: noturaveragegrl
Mon, 11-26-2007 - 9:13pm

You really need to understand 100% that his ex wife is always going to be a part of his life because of the children. If the things she says and does bothers you now, it's only going to get worse as time goes by.


He cannot control what she says or what she wants to talk about. If he hangs up on her when she wants to discuss her problems at work with him, for example, she will become angry. If she becomes

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2007
In reply to: noturaveragegrl
Mon, 11-26-2007 - 11:16pm
i do understand 100% where u are coming from and i am highly aware of what im signing up for. If i didnt want to accept that or deal with it my answer to his proposal would have been NO.