ex walked out and left everything behind

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2004
ex walked out and left everything behind
9
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 8:56pm
This is the first time I have posted a message like this but I am in need of some advice.

So this may be a little winded.....

I was involved in a relationship if you can call it that for about 6 months with someone he got kicked out of the place he was living and I offered for him to stay with me. After he moved in things were good but then gradually he started staying out and not coming home and he had brought his 2 dogs with him and wasnt feeding them or taking care of them. If fact I bought dog food for his dogs and my dog and he never gave me a dime for their food. When I started to question him he said he wanted to take things slow well slow to me is just slow down the relationship well no to him it was turn everything off. No feelings no intimacy nothing. Well he moved his stuff in and the next thing you know he doesn't come home for days and his one dog is now attacking my dog. So I call him to come get his dogs cause I can't take this any more. He shows up drunk and says he cares about me a lot and wants to continue to see me. I told him I thought we needed to talk and that he probably should move out. But that I didn't want to talk that night considering how drunk he was. Well he left with his 2 dogs and never called or came back. So last Monday I send him a text message because his phone is not working but for that. I tell him I want him to come Saturday to get his stuff out of my house. well saturday comes and goes and he never shows. I texthim again and he makes up a bunch of excuses and sob stories. Oh yeah forgot to say he has charlie brown syndrome. everyone should pity him. he claims no storage places were available which I know is a lie too cause I called them all in our area. Friday nights, well pretty much every night are his party nights so I know he was drunk and just didn't get up to do anything. So he says tuesday or wednesday he is coming to get his stuff.

I want all his stuff out. can I toss his stuff or not? I want it all out and want to be done with the relationship. I am going through a lot of other person things too with work and family and just can't handle more stress on top of this.

Who knows what he is wearing or using for personal hygenine cause all his stuff is still at my house.

He was supposed to have been giving me 100 a week while he was staying with me. His words not mine and all I saw in 2 months was 100 bucks. He owes me money but I don't even want that. I just want his stuff gone so I can move on.

Any words of wisdom?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
Tue, 05-18-2004 - 7:32am
Don't throw his things out. You will be legally liable for their theft/destruction. Box everything up NEATLY. Send him a certified letter giving him until a certain date to pick them up. Specify what will happen to the items if he doesn't retrieve them. This way you will have covered yourself legally.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2004
Tue, 05-18-2004 - 10:59am
Thanks for your reply!

What could I say though that would happen to them if he does not pick them up?

I don't even have an address as to where he is staying.

It's so frustrating!
Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-18-2004 - 11:56am

You are right to want him out of there. This guy is nothing but trouble. There's nothing to talk about vis a vis a relationship, just get clear of this situation. I don't know if there could be legal implications concerning what you do with his "stuff". If you just tossed it away it's possible he might try to get money from you for compensation. I don't know. If I were you, I would check this out with a lawyer or with my local police station. Ask what the appropriate action to take now is. It's basically a legal matter.


Best wishes and be much more careful next time around.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Tue, 05-18-2004 - 12:05pm
I too would check with someone about the laws in your state, but since you don't have an address to send him notification, I would sent him another text msg - if your stuff isn't picked up by such-n-such date (pick one) I will be giving your things away to goodwill (or whatever).


Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2004
Tue, 05-18-2004 - 12:24pm
Thanks! I know what your saying and need to check it out!

Sad thing is I have known him and been friends with him for 6yrs prior to us ever starting up a relationship. Amazing how 2 personalities exist! I never would have pegged him to be such a jerk and none of my friends that have met him thought so either.

Live and learn!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2004
Tue, 05-18-2004 - 12:26pm
Yeah those were my thoughts to do tonight if he doesn't show.

Text that he has one last opportunity to get his stuff Wednesday.

So we shall see. Keeping fingers crossed he shows tonight!

Thanks for the input I am trying to find a lawyer to check with just to weigh my options if he doesn't show either day.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2004
Tue, 05-18-2004 - 10:47pm
Just as I thought he was a no show tonight.

Texted him at 7:10p to find out what time he would be coming and no reply.

So waited til 9p and texted him that tomorrow was his last chance to pick up his belongings and if he did not they would be removed from the premises.

I sent that message 3 times to him in an hour period. Even tried calling a number he had called from before and all I got was static. But I did find his bosses phone number to his work place so I left a message there to stating the same thing. I am sure more excuses to follow so not sure what is going to happen next.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 05-19-2004 - 2:08am
for heaven's sake,.... get rid of this guy and his stuff!

know what i'd do? box up his crap and take it to the local police station for them to hold. you're a citizen, female, and need to get rid of this guy... i'm sure they'll go for it.

then text this idiot and tell him he can get his sh*t at the police station. or call his boss and have HIM relay the message.

call the local shelter and see if they can take the dogs. then call whoever you call and tell them he's abusing the dogs and not taking care of them. that will take care of the dog issue.

then change your locks.

and if this person ever steps foot near you again get a restraining order and mean it.

trash like him has to go!

also, you know where he works. pack up his crap and drop it off there if you want.

and if he even whines one bit about anything being missing, tell him to shove it up his a$$. he'd be laughed at if he complains about anything missing.

jeez, what a jerk... take a stand, girl. get rid of him. only you can make this game over.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2004
Wed, 05-19-2004 - 12:07pm
That's exactly what I am trying to do, be rid of him!

He just doesn't want to come get his crap.

I thought about dropping everything off at his work too. What pisses me off is taking my time and my friends time to move it and putting more money out to get a truck and dump it.

Locks are changed already and he has his dogs. I made him take them 3 weeks ago. That was when he chose not to come back or call for anything.

Thanks for the input!