Ex wants back

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2008
Ex wants back
8
Mon, 05-26-2008 - 10:40pm

Short story, my ex-wife was cheating on me for sometime. Last year at this time we where still married, she filed a bad TRO on me to get me out of MY house and take MY stuff. A year later she now said she has been thinking things out. I really think she is only talking to me again like this being that everything she setup did not work out for her.

I own the house and cars before we where married.
I had the money before we where married and did not work since we started to live together
For better words I own it all and she gave nothing.

A year later, the Judge gave me back everything, plus our Daugther that has Austim.

She now lives in a dump for better words and the guy she cheated on me with is now cheating on her.

To add to this. I am GAY. She had known this from the start but thought being I was having sex with a woman. Well.

My little girl keeps asking for mommy, mommy does not want to come around, she wants me to take her to her (160 miles one way). I did not tell her to move, etc. I am sure everyone can see my point.

Help

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
In reply to: dudeinavca
Mon, 05-26-2008 - 11:56pm

Welcome to the board dudeinavca,


Regardless of what she's doing or not doing, please, please take care of you and your daughter regardless of what your ex wants.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2008
In reply to: dudeinavca
Tue, 05-27-2008 - 5:18am
And your question is?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2008
In reply to: dudeinavca
Tue, 05-27-2008 - 8:21am
Should I try and work things out for our daughter, even if I know she is just using me right now.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2008
In reply to: dudeinavca
Tue, 05-27-2008 - 8:33am

Are you a glutton for punishment?


If you are gay, what makes you think that a marriage with a woman stands a chance in hell of working?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
In reply to: dudeinavca
Tue, 05-27-2008 - 10:24am

I really do sympathize with you and ESPECIALLY your daughter... But to be fair, didn't YOU know you were gay before she did? So what business did you have marrying a woman? Did you marry her because you wanted a child? I don't see why you think a deceptive marriage was her fault. She had to be pretty delusional to think that she could make you straight but if this marriage was a sham from the beginning, you also own the responsibility of starting it. That said, of course you should not continue a fake marriage to continue deceiving your child. You two will be her parents no matter what, whether you are married or not. I can understand your frustration when she wants her mommy who is now a long way away and not of your choosing so I sympathize with you there. I wonder if you and her mother can work out a schedule, maybe every other weekend one of you could make the trip with her? It must hurt a lot to see your daughter upset, she doesn't know what transpired between you, all she knows is that she loves her parents. But even with autism (I have a lot of autistic cousins in my family so I sympathize here too) she will grow up and accept the situation more easily. It's still new for her.

I really hope you two can work something out, I wish I had more suggestions but it's a sticky place to be in when you can't make her mother want to make the trip (or be able to afford it - perhaps if this is her qualm you could chip in for it). Best of luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2008
In reply to: dudeinavca
Tue, 05-27-2008 - 10:38am
She did know before hand I am Gay, I never lied about this to her. I never cheated on her, nor did I even think of cheating on her. I did marry her yes, why really had to do with the pushing of the Church.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2007
In reply to: dudeinavca
Tue, 05-27-2008 - 4:56pm
NO you should not... A child is better off with two happy healthy parents not living together, than in a home where the parents are miserable with themselves and each other.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2005
In reply to: dudeinavca
Tue, 05-27-2008 - 11:57pm

With the exception of one response, I agree with what you've been replied. In short, no don't work things out with her in marriage, work things out in regards to visitation only so your daughter can see her mom at least in a structured way. The ex-wife (or at least her behavior) isn't worth working things out with otherwise. Not sure why you got married, but I don't believe this is what is meant in the joining of two lives.

Good luck,

Myspace CodesMyspace Text Generator, Myspace GraphicsMyspace Codes, Myspace GraphicsMyspace, Myspace CodesMyspace Codes, Myspace GraphicsMyspace Codes, Myspace Graphics

Myspace Codes