ex- wants to have sex with others

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2007
ex- wants to have sex with others
2
Wed, 04-04-2007 - 12:13am

tonight i called my bf/ex-. he said he would be as honest as possible as to why he wanted to end the relationship, other than the reason that he was not in love with me anymore.

he said that he didn't feel it was right to keep me in a relationship with him when he felt that he didn't want to commit to me when he hasn't had a change to "slut it up" in his life. he said that he had everything he could possibly want in a woman right in front of him but still felt like he was missing something, that he constantly wondered "what if" about being with someone else, because he's only been with 3 other people besides me. he said that he would be constantly wondering what it would be like because he fears i am the only other person he will sleep with and wants to feel the chase and what it is like to be with someone "new."

i felt like i was grasping at straws, but i suggested that since he already ended our relationship, that perhaps we both take 30 days to see what being with other people may be like. that since we are separated, that it is not cheating, and that we can each sleep with one other person of our choice, one time. no contact is to be applied and once the time period is up, we see if we actually want to be together again.

i am devasted. i think i have made the wrong decision. i know that i can go the next few months without even having to sleep with anyone else, knowing that it is only him that i want in my bed. why is that he is not satisfied with having just me?

i feel like this is an itch he has to scratch and that since we aren't together, i really don't have any say, other than not to go back to him in the end.

i feel like crying. howling at sky and throwing things at the walls.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2006
Wed, 04-04-2007 - 11:04am
He said he isn't in love with you. Please don't waste your time and energy waiting for him to want to be faithful to you. You both need to move on and date others.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Wed, 04-04-2007 - 11:47am

Welcome to the board ccheckers,


He has been honest with you and let you know that he doesn't love you and wants to experience being able to "sleep around". He is clearly not ready to be a long term committed relationship and I don't think that is going to change in 30 days.


Please work on grieving over the end of your relationship and moving on.


Best of luck to you.

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